#Mike is upset and doesn’t know how to explain to el his situation

[lune-moon-nuit]

This is definitely one of the best analysis of Mike Wheeler arc on the series I seen ! I love it, I love this character and his complexity so much

ok. look at these.

look. that's the same look. right?

let's take a closer look. to do that, i'm gonna have to zoom in a bit on the first one. because, as you can immediately see, the shots are slightly different. the first is a little farther away, showing both mike and el, walking next to each other, whereas the second is much more intimate, a closeup on mike's expression as he looks at will's face in the foreground. a minor but telling difference about the levels of emotional intimacy in each scene.

so, moving past that first element of contrast, let's look at each shot in full, because in both of these scenes, mike goes on a bit of a face journey before he gets to that final smiling expression, seen above.

personally, i think studying actors' body language and micro-expressions is inconclusive at best, but i won't deny that these look similar. however, it's pretty clear to me that they aren't the same.

toward el, i see confusion, intrigue, maybe pleasant surprise, followed by a glance down (to emotionally process and/or watch his step), and then a nervous but friendly smile.

toward will, i see awe, relief, and overwhelming affection, followed by a shy glance down and a slight schooling of his slack jawed expression into a warm smile.

but, again, that's just my interpretation, and i can't say with any certainty what the intention of all of finn's micro-expressions are. but from my perspective, even a surface level viewing of these two expressions depicts a very different emotional experience. however: there's no denying the connection between these two scenes. they clearly mirror each other, just like a lot of things about mike's relationships with el and will mirror each other. i don't think that's an accident.

whatever you think his sexuality is, mike is undeniably in a romantic narrative with el. beginning in season one episode three, when the concept of their romantic relationship is introduced, the narrative arc mike and el share is heavily focused on that relationship. the first scene above actually happens in that same episode (s1e3), not coincidentally almost directly afterward. and the former scene, with mike, lucas, and dustin behind the baseball field, provides very interesting context for several reasons:

first: bear with me, because we're going back to look at the context behind this context. this is only episode three of the show, but already there's a lot going on, both in text and subtext.

and since we have the entirety of their relationship so far presented to us on screen, when lucas accuses mike of looking at el romantically, we're easily able to go back and figure out where he got that impression: we can examine every time lucas has seen mike look at el at all.

the first night, after finding el in the woods instead of will, and while insisting that the next day she'd be gone and they could focus on will again, mike's behavior is directly reminiscent of benny's. taking el in, and providing her with shelter, food, and clothing.

the next day, after learning that she's in danger and changing his mind about pawning her off on his mother, mike infers that she might know something about will. when lucas arrives, he exclaims that she recognized him and knew he was missing.

later, when lucas tells her that will is their friend, she asks what that means and mike explains. a friend...

and then she displays that she might really be able to help them find will. and mike looks at her like this:

each and every one of these interactions is directly related to will. but lucas, through the omnipresent lens of heteronormativity that surrounds boys' interactions with girls (especially a group of boys who have no experience with girls... more on that in a bit), only seems to consider the fact that mike's behavior, which is undeniably about will, is being directed at el.

throughout season one (and beyond, in more subtle ways), will and el are repeatedly connected to each other through the trope of mistaken identity. will is abducted on the same night (and due to the same series of events) that el escapes the lab. hopper, in his investigation into will's disappearance, keeps running into clues about el. and mike, lucas, and dustin, sneaking out in episode one to search for will, find el instead.

later in the season, hopper eventually realizes the truth of his own more overt mistaken identity arc: while he was under the assumption that he'd been following will's trail, he'd actually been following el's. interestingly, the realization is triggered by one specific distinguishing difference, which tells him beyond a doubt that he's been looking for two different kids: their art.

though much more subtle (aka hidden in the subtext), mike's arc with his feelings about will and el follows a very similar pattern. the main difference, though, is that in season one, the swapping of places is eventually reversed but never acknowledged as such, and mike ends season one with el now missing and will back in his life, but a lingering sense of something yet unresolved.

second: (i'm not going to deep dive into this one here, because it's a whole analysis in and of itself, but i need to mention it because it is relevant) this scene introduces the recurring motif of superheroes being directly connected to mike's feelings for el, which is an association we see follow them all the way into season four and become a defining metaphor for their incompatibility.

third: lucas is the character who first introduces mike's romantic feelings for el into the narrative. and instead of giving any indication that lucas' interpretation is correct, mike's reaction is... difficult to read. his response is immediately defensive, both verbally ("what are you talking about?" "shut up, lucas,") and physically (leaning away and shielding himself when lucas hugs him). we can infer from the original character descriptions why mike might be defensive about this subject:

obviously, this description is only a vague impression of what Mike Wheeler became, but it's clear that the core elements of his character outlined here did come to fruition on screen. here, mike's insecurity is linked both to the bullying he undergoes, and to his inexperience/ineptitude with girls. and it's presented as key to his character motivation (the original concept of his character arc put forth here is very straightforward: at the start, mike has insecurity centered around bullying and is romantically inexperienced. by the end, mike has courage against monsters and romantic experience.)

in any case, this scene is the first hint of this aspect of mike's character in the show itself (the earlier scene of bullying in the show focusing on mike consoling dustin over what he’s being bullied for (“i think it's kinda cool. it’s like you have superpowers or something!”)... see my last point here… mike holds the idea of superpowers in high regard, and they are consistently connected with his feelings about el. something about the mistaken identity through-line feels apt here: mike mistakes his feelings of admiration for el as feelings of romance.) in this scene, mike is confronted with both romance (in direct relation to himself for the first time in the show) and bullying.

but due to the way this is shot, it's impossible to get a read on what mike is truly feeling. it reminds me a lot of another scene, actually...

in both of these scenes, mike's genuine emotional reaction is hidden from us. in the first, lucas forcibly hugs him, teasing him about how much he "loves" el, and in effect introducing the idea of el as a romantic prospect to mike. in the second, el hugs mike tightly, her hand still around his neck from their kiss and his arm trapped in between them, similar to the way he shields himself from lucas. we're then shown that he's signed the card on the flowers squished between them "from, mike." hm. so... not love, as lucas suggests.

we come to learn over the course of season four that this is something mike is actively struggling with: his inability to "love" el in the way that she wants, expects, and deserves. this scene, introducing that season-long arc, conceals mike's true emotional state and motivations from us, again, mirroring the first introduction to their entire romantic plot line way back in season one.

(an aside: lucas' "if you love her so much, [then] why don't you marry her?" aka the inciting event of their romantic arc, is a based on a conditional statement with the hypothesis that mike loves el. as mr. clarke might posit (in, say, season one, episode one): what's the difference between an experiment and other forms of science investigation? ...well, an experiment is a controlled test of two or more variables against a hypothesis. does that remind you of anything happening in mike's romantic narrative? something about...... [murray voice] experimenting sexually?)

anyway. then, after extracting himself from el's embrace, mike finally drops his bag(gage) and opens his now empty arms to will, before preemptively cutting himself short with a punch to the shoulder.

...did someone say internalized homophobia?

and then immediately upon being introduced to argyle, mike is called out for his presentation here not being genuine. ("it's a shitty knock-off,"/"i really thought it was ocean pacific...") we're being told that something about mike's performance is not what it seems (and may even be a case of one thing being mistaken for something else).

and speaking of homophobia...

fourth (and finally): this scene, of lucas' teasing mike about his "love" for el, which i'll remind you again is tied directly to lucas mistaking mike's behavior regarding will as being solely about el, is quickly interrupted by an onslaught of homophobia, during which mike is specifically targeted (read: tripped) by the bullies.

the juxtaposition is immediate and obvious: mike's friends lovingly teasing him, even embracing him, over a crush on a girl vs. bullies maliciously taunting them about will being killed for being queer and then physically harming mike.

(there's also something to be said about the later scene in which these bullies force mike to drop his bike in the woods and chase him to the edge of the quarry, mirroring exactly how the cops assume will must have died... and, to be clear, i'm not saying that mike himself is being bullied for being queer in the way will was. no, mike's queerness is invisible to those around him in a way that will's isn't, so his relationship with it and the ways it affects him are hidden in subtext.)

which brings us directly to the following scene in the woods. el asks about mike's injury (sustained from the aforementioned bullying, thereby linking these two scenes even more concretely) and with a little prodding ("friends don't lie"), he opens up to her about what happened, and about being bullied at school. she listens, tells him she understands (this also follows her recent flashback of brenner's abuse in the lab), and they share a "cool," "cool," and a smile.

so... let's quickly jump over from here to the van scene with will. something similar, yet notably different, is happening in this scene, leading up to that infamous smile at the end. mike is sharing his insecurities with will now, but instead of will prodding him to open up, mike, prompted only by will's "she's gonna be okay," begins rambling so much about his insecurities (while speaking in superhero metaphors) that he eventually cuts himself off, saying it's "stupid." will tries to placate him, ("of course she needs you,") but when that doesn't work, he gives him The Painting (a symbol of his love for mike) and a long speech about feeling lost and different, while insisting upon mike's value (you're the heart, leading us, inspiring us, etc). and then they share a "yeah?" "yeah," and a smile.

so we can see the similarity in the way the shots are set up, the progression of the conversations, and mike's visible reactions. but we can also see distinct differences, all of which together inform a significant difference in emotional weight between these two scenes.

while mike's conversation in the woods with el takes place in the third episode of season one, at which point mike has known her for less than 48 hours, the van scene is in the second to last episode of season four, and is the fourth of five heart-to-hearts mike and will have this season alone (and following three previous seasons and beyond that years of close friendship). it is also arguably the climax of their shared arc this season. on the other hand, mike and el's season one moment is part of the introduction to their storyline, and the introduction to their romantic arc. in this moment in the woods, mike is looking at el romantically (did you think i was gonna argue that he isn't? because no, he definitely is). in fact, this is the beginning of mike's entire romantic arc, which sets out to address the foundational insecurity that is key to his character. we, as an audience, right alongside mike, have just been told (by lucas) that mike has romantic feelings for el. and then we are presented with this scene. we are supposed to view this as romantic. because mike is starting to view it as romantic.

had stranger things been one season long, then the climax of their romantic arc would have been the kiss they share in the cafeteria, followed by the denouement of el's symbolic death (the gay implications of which i could write another whole essay on...). but the end of season one was not the resolution of mike's full romantic arc. by the nature of the five act structure (which is what stranger things has, being five seasons), the entirety of season one serves as exposition for our full narrative. which means, in effect, that the entire arc of mike and el's season one relationship is there to serve as groundwork, a foundation for mike's complete five season arc. season one, starting from before he even meets el, all the way through to when he eventually kisses her and then loses her, is only act one of that arc. the first act of five act structure is when the driving conflict is presented. so in the context of the entire show, for us as the viewer, mike's narrative arc surrounding the romantic aspect of his insecurity begins with his season one "romance" with el.

and we know that this insecurity is an element of the full five-act narrative, rather than being presented and wrapped in the course of the mini "self contained" narrative of season one, because we can see plainly, three seasons later, particularly during mike's heart-to-hearts with will, that this insecurity has not yet been resolved. we know this, on a basic level, from having watched mike and el's relationship struggles progress, but it is still explicitly laid out for us in season four. and will is consistently the only person who genuinely hears mike out, encourages him to open up, and addresses his insecurities, instead of brushing him off, like most other people in his life (including will at some points) have done. will understands him in a way el only claimed to in season one.

looking back to the character outline: mike has now "kiss[ed] a girl" and even "had a girlfriend" and still hasn't resolved his insecurities even remotely. in fact, after the first season arc wraps up, this romantic relationship becomes the main source of that insecurity. his difficulty navigating a real romantic relationship with el is the basis of their arc in season three. and by season four, mike is consciously struggling with being unable to tell el that he loves her. despite will's reassurances that things will be okay (which stack onto lucas' constant relationship advice in season three), mike keeps circling back around to it. because he can't move forward on the path he is on.

he has reached a point of no return, like a “fight you can’t come back from.” he is unable to find the security he is searching for in his romantic relationship with el... and this is where we arrive back at the van scene with will.

if the scene in the woods marks the beginning of the introduction of mike's romantic arc, then the scene in the van marks the beginning of the conclusion of mike's romantic arc. if the introduction of his romantic arc (season one) presents his insecurity, then the natural conclusion of that arc (season five) is security. throughout season four, mike lays out for will the insecurity that his relationship with el still brings him. he is unable to find that security with el, and, in the van scene, finds it with will instead.

or, should i say, begins the journey to finding it. because, especially after the lie that brings them into that moment, and then traumatic pizza dough freezer incident, we're still at the beginning of the conclusion. there's still a lot to resolve, but season four (alongside mike, who now understands what he's been going through) finally began moving the subtext of mike's arc into the actual text. and this moment indicates that season five will take that next step to fully, textually, actualizing it.

so, getting back to the parallel we're looking at here: each of these scenes is a catalyzing moment in mike's romantic arc. in season one, when lucas suggests that mike has a crush on el, and then what follows is a conversation with el where she is (to quote lucas) "not grossed out" by him, he actively begins his journey toward resolving this character motivating insecurity. he looks at el and he sees the possibility of romance.

and just look at him. he looks excited. hopeful. a little nervous. but... i want to remind you again: mike has known el for less than 48 hours at this point. this is the first conversation they've had in which they've related to each other as equals. for their entire relationship before this and afterward, outside of their romantic interactions (and also. often. disturbingly. concurrent with their romantic interactions...), mike's role has been as el's protector, a makeshift father figure, the elliot to her E.T. here, though, el tells mike that she understands him.

in season one, mike is twelve years old (read: pre-pubescent). he has no personal understanding of or experience with romance. dustin starts to comment in s1e2, "you're letting a girl...?" and ted later scoffs "our son with a girl?" and outside of the queer coding, what we can take from both of these (which draw back to the original character description) is that mike has no experience with girls whatsoever. (outside of, you know. family. but that's not what this post is about.)

and again, this scene happens almost directly after lucas first introduces the idea of romance between them, both to the narrative, and to mike himself, who, very significantly, up until this point, has shown no romantic interest in el. the sequence of these events is not a coincidence. 1. lucas assumes mike has romantic feelings for el. 2. el and mike have a moment of personal connection and understanding 3. mike "boys only" wheeler puts these two together and assumes the connection between them must be romance. but the expression on mike's face here isn't a representation of already existing romantic feelings. there's no basis for those. again, this moment represents for mike the potential for romance.

which... makes his expression in the van scene hit even harder. because unlike el, will isn't a stranger he barely knows, but rather his best friend of ten years. and it isn't lucas telling mike how mike feels. it's will professing his own feelings about mike, in direct response to mike's self-professed insecurities. (ding ding ding, are your alarm bells going off?) mike's expression at the end of this scene, if we're viewing it as a reprise of his season one expression, is a representation of hope for his romantic future. but this time, heading into the resolution of mike's romantic arc, with all of the knowledge and context we (and mike) have gained over the course of the past four seasons, it's directed at will.

ok. so. with the basic connection between these two scenes established, i'm gonna move a little bit sideways here. at the end of their romantic arc in season one, el disappears from mike's life and will reappears in it, effectively swapping their places (remember that we've been dealing with the mistaken identity trope between these two), and leaving the question of mike's romantic security glaringly unresolved.

and we know why - this is a five act narrative we're watching - but just within the context of the season one arc... the climactic moment of mike finally asking the girl to be his sister kissing the girl was preceded by her locating will in the upside down (leading to his rescue) and followed by a resolution in which she disappeared... and will took her place. at the end of the season, mike is left in the same place he started: playing games in his basement with will, his first attempt to resolve his arc of romantic insecurity, with el, ultimately ending in tragedy.

after season one, this arc picks up again, but this time will the one present in mike's life. and mike's behaviors toward el in season one, during which they were undergoing a romantic story arc, begin showing up again in his behavior towards will. but unlike with el, mike's particular (read: romantic) behavior toward will happens without outside intervention, and in fact, often in spite of outside intervention. now, this isn't to say that all of mike's behavior with el was a result of others' influence. when el reveals to mike that she is on the run from "bad people," mike is immediately protective and caring toward her. however, as i've already explained, this caring behavior (which, again, we know right off the bat is not romantic because it directly mirrors the way both benny and hopper care for her) doesn't turn into romantic behavior until lucas introduces that idea.

on the opposite side of the spectrum, right from episode one of season one, mike's behavior toward will is fully self motivated, even in the face of opposition.

and as we move through season one and beyond, we can see that mike continues to rely on constant guidance in the way he cares about el (particularly and most consistently from lucas).

stranger things is, at it's horror filled core, a coming of age tale. like many of our other characters, mike's full character arc, romantic and otherwise, is about self-actualization. from the very conception of the show, his insecurity is presented as a central character flaw to overcome, while also being directly linked with his romantic fulfillment. the overcoming of this fatal flaw, the resolution of his romantic arc, and his final achievement of self-actualization are all inextricably intertwined.

the reprisal of this specific expression of romantic hope as we enter the end of mike's romantic arc is not an indication that mike is in the same place emotionally at the end of season four as he was at the beginning of season one, just with a different person now. instead, it is an indication of his romantic arc coming full circle. mike began in a position of hope for his romantic future with el, only to have the actualization of that hope (their romantic relationship) gradually degrade his romantic fulfillment and self-esteem. the longer mike and el are together, and the more serious their romantic relationship becomes, the worse mike's insecurities become. this is, i would argue, directly related to the fact that mike's pursuit of a romantic relationship with el is not due to his own genuine desire, but instead a combined result of heteronormativity (lucas assuming mike's feelings for el to be romantic), compulsive heterosexuality (mike's subsequent assumption that his feelings for el must be romantic), forced conformity (mike's attempt to resolve his insecurities firmly within these heteronormative boundaries, under the assumption that a rejection of these boundaries is unacceptable), and the trope of mistaken identity that has been following will and el since season one.

and of course i don't know with any concrete certainty what season five will contain, but based on the narrative so far, and optimistically expecting a satisfying resolution to his character arc, the actualization of his romantic hope regarding will is going to lead to true romantic fulfillment and coincide with his self-actualization (a big part of which is coming to terms with his sexuality).

now, i'm not going to conclude this whole analysis by saying, "and that's why mike is gay!" because while i think this all is a good indication of that, based on all of the context and my impression that this narrative is being presented in a way that focuses on the subtext and deeper symbolism of each of these relationships rather than being a case of specifically el vs. will, you might still have a different interpretation than me. that's fine. however, i am going to end by insisting (me when i argue with the wall), based on everything i've laid out, that this parallel and others like it (ie parallels between byler & miIeven's romantic arcs) are not evidence of mike's feelings, specifically whether they are genuinely romantic or not. this parallel serves as a narrative device in his romantic character arc... the conclusion of which is mike realizing and coming to terms with the fact that he is actually in love with will, and not el.

just to be very clear, i'm not saying these parallels alone are proof against mike being bisexual, but i am saying that they are not evidence in support of his being bisexual. again: they do not indicate that mike is romantically attracted to el. what they indicate is that will and el are foils in mike's romantic arc.

before i finish, i want to address a couple misconceptions:

1. the fact that mike actively and willingly participates in a romantic relationship with a woman means he can’t be gay. this is straight up homophobia. gold star bullshit. no.

2. mike and el being presented in a romantic light means that they have genuine romantic feelings for each other. this is a misconception of the way narrative tools are used to tell a story. going right back to my first point: it is an irrefutable fact that many gay people have romantic relationships with the people of different genders (read “the opposite sex”) before they come out/realize their true sexuality. it is also a fact that many of these gay people fully believe their feelings to be genuinely romantic before realizing that they are not. as i've already gone over, mike is twelve years old when his romantic arc begins. on the surface, his relationship with el is presented as romantic. he participates in (and even initiates) romantic behaviors because he believes that his feelings for el are romantic. in seasons one and two, mike is one of our main POV characters. we can see a romantic tilt to the way some of their scenes are shot because, to mike, while they are happening, they are romantic (keeping in mind what i said before about mike having no experience and therefore no personal knowledge informing his perspective, AND keeping in mind that many of these on-the-surface "romantic" scenes are also consistently subtextually linked (read: paralleled) to familial relationships for both of them... and i haven't even touched the cultural context surrounding homosexuality in 80's. there's so much nuance informing the way this story is being told). and we, as the audience, are supposed to read them as romantic on first viewing, because otherwise the season five plot twist, revealing the truth of mike's feelings, would not work.

it is not a coincidence that the active degradation of their romantic relationship (outside of all of the other context, parallels, symbolism, family coding, etc, that are there to hint along the way that things are not as they might seem) begins full force in season three, at the exact point when the two actually enter a real relationship for the first time, and also when our characters are entering puberty, the time during which a person's sexuality (in a general sense, but also in regard to sexual orientation) begins to fully emerge. after his season one arc with el, mike underwent another season-long romantic arc: this time, with will. it's more subtle, because (i believe) mike doesn't realize yet that it's romantic, but it's there. then at the end of season two, mike makes a choice: he encourages will to dance with a girl and he dances with el, re-writing their tragic ending from season one, but now leaving his romantic arc with will frustratingly unresolved, again mirroring the sense of unresolution from season one: mike has swapped out the end of each romantic arc with the wrong love interest.

and then in season three, now having had the experience of both romantic arcs, and now, for the first time, with both will and el right there beside him, all we can see anymore is the overt contrast between the two relationships, depicted most blatantly through the same type of visual and narrative "parallel" we've been looking at here.

but at the end of this season, instead of making a choice, mike's choice is made for him. he has a romantic moment with will, and then el kisses him, confusing the resolution of these two romantic arcs once again.

mike's season four arc closely mirrors his season one arc (searching for one love interest with the other by his side, mistaken identity trope abound), but with important distinctions: 1. mike is a little older, a lot more experienced, and has a better understanding of both the context of romantic relationships and the scope of his feelings for both el and will. and 2. mike's only real guidance in season four comes from will, and he doesn't simply listen and act based on will's advice, as he did with lucas' in seasons 1&3. now, he fully engages with will's input, pushing back against it when he doesn't agree, and accepting it when he can acknowledge its truth (up until, of course, our fourth (and hopefully final) tragic, incorrectly resolved ending). mike is finally taking control of his romantic narrative in a way he hasn't previously, and the direction it's heading in now is toward security, self-actualization, and will.

so the point of all of this is: nothing is as simple or straightforward as it may seem on the surface. the narrative has always been deeply complex and layered with subtext and symbolism. and most of all, when interpreting the meaning of anything presented directly to us on screen, context matters.

also uh. yeah, mike gay

[wibble-wobbegong]

Something something tell me about the relationship between sense of duty and self preservation when Mike wants to present himself as El's perfect nice het boyf. I know he's so so aware of this dilemma and may or not be mentally shitting on himself for it but I am very curious on how you think it is playing out otherwise🤔🤔🤔

*cracks my knuckles* it’s been a while but im feeling impassioned about my boy rn. forgive me if this is cruddy

When we’re looking at these two pieces of Mike, it’s important to understand that it’s rather paradoxical. I’ve failed to explain this before, but I think I finally have the words for it.

So, as far as Mike’s sense of duty, we’re all well aware that it’s very intense. When he feels like he must be dutiful or that he owes someone, he does so with a vigor that’s unmatched by any other character. What he decides as deserving of his loyalty, however, is not something that’s always perceived as fair by the audience. Most of us, as far as I have seen, agree that Mike should have been loyal to Lucas and gone to his games, but Mike clearly doesn’t agree with that sentiment. He felt betrayed by Lucas as he joined the basketball team and yearned for popularity rather than him continuing to be a full fledged nerd like Mike.

Lucas was Mike’s rock throughout S3, which is when we saw him following the route of normalcy alongside Lucas. Or attempting to do so. Their mutual feeling of betrayal is rooted in Mike returning to his truer self whilst Lucas does the same– they just happen to desire different things in life. Lucas wants to be treated like everybody else and be able to balance his nerdier side and a more stereotypical life, which we see him attempt to do in S4. Of course, at the end, Lucas comes to understand that popularity and such is not what he expected it to be. That doesn’t mean he didn’t want it, he just has a morality that is stronger than his wants for security.

Mike, on the other hand, doesn’t and never has actually wanted to be normal. It’s been a thing he’s forced himself to be and proceeded to fail miserably in doing so. He isn’t and doesn’t want the popularity and sense of belonging in stereotypical groups, and it’s painted in the argument scene between Mike and Dustin vs Lucas where we witness Mike hanging his head as though he understands Lucas’ wants, which Lucas would hope he would, but he can’t bring himself to prioritize this over his sense of betrayal.

This is all to demonstrate that Mike has carried his personal value of loyalty all the way to S4 from S1, so it’s an immovable trait of his, even as it evolves. However, he still deeply cares about his friends, even if he does feel betrayed. In S1, despite believing El had betrayed him, he didn’t kick her out to the streets. He was clearly upset with her, but not enough to risk putting her in serious danger. With Lucas, he’s upset as well, but we see the guilt clouding him fighting against the anger he feels. The difference between these two situations is that Mike feels as though Lucas chose to leave whereas El didn’t leave. The level of danger is different, sure, but Lucas still risked himself by approaching these people who reflect those who bullied the Party in the past. Mike has changed over time, and his bottled up emotions and inability to let himself truly free has built up and his anger has started to outshine his deeper sense of loyalty.

That being said, we also see Mike’s dedication differ based on how much he believes he owes a person. In El’s case, he owes her a lot. She brought Will home to him and he had promised her a relationship. She has saved them countless times. She’s a superhero. Mike’s devotion to El is much stronger than anybody else as a result. He has prioritized her over everybody else in his life, even the people who make him happier, because he knows El desires this with him. El has given him no reason to feel betrayed for 3 of the 4 seasons, and Mike grew to care about her very quickly. When Mike cares, he cares a lot. He carries intense emotions about basically everything and tends to overreact, which can come out as spurts of anger or sadness, but it can also be seen as pushing himself to do an unnecessary amount for El specifically, in recency.

Here’s where it gets somewhat paradoxical. Mike’s sense of duty is strong, but as a result he’s become unable to express himself with anybody. You’d think that Mike’s duty would become central to Will, and we know that it is as soon as El is gone. It’s made clear in S2. Unlike anybody else, Will has the unique trait of being Mike’s best friend. He’s the only person Mike will allow himself to open up to, and we saw that with his explosions in S3 and his softness in S4, especially in the van. Mike has to protect himself and this identity he upholds when he’s with El so her happiness is maintained, but his dynamic with Will means he’s able to actually express himself and rely on Will– those emotions tend to be negative and sometimes hurtful because all of it gets laid onto Will. All his frustrations and problems are talked through with Will because he’s the only person Mike can trust in such a way.

As a result, we see Mike painted as selfish and a shitty friend to Will. We know Mike is willing to be there for Will when he truly needs it and we know Mike wants to be there, which we see in S2 and S4 (regardless of whether or not he called, he still listened to Will and made amends). S3 is a unique situation of Mike being incredibly stressed and feeling as though he has to isolate himself from this either part of him entirely in order to maintain his persona of El’s boyfriend. This gets taken out on Will as well. A major part of this is that Mike views his entire self as unworthy of being El’s boyfriend, so he attempts to mold himself into the person he believes she deserves, but this means cutting out anything not considered normal. Obviously Will was insisting on doing things the old way of the Party, which he shouldn’t be blamed for whatsoever, but on an even deeper level Will is tied to who Mike truly is as a person and he refuses to change himself, meaning Mike can’t swerve his way around that part of himself so he feels as though he needs to suppress and even abandon Will (somewhat). When Will digs his heels into the ground and tugs on Mike, desperate to bring back the boy he knew, Mike gets pissed off and yells. This is quickly overtaken by his care for Will, which is why he runs after him.

Mike cares about Will, but he was warring with himself over who he thinks he’s supposed to be versus who he actually is. El is representative of his commitment to those he loves, but Will is representative of the freedom of self. Mike has been struggling to balance these two for so long because they’re core parts of who he is. He values his sense of duty in the highest regard but there is nobody who doesn’t want to be themself deep down. Mike has not yet learned to prioritize his sense of self over his sense of duty due to his own belief that he isn’t special or worth loving when he is himself, so he allows himself to be overcome with his duty.

We’ve seen him acknowledge that he recognizes his shitty behavior and wants to be better, but still struggles. Yet, as soon as Will promises him that he is loved for who he is and that he is special and gives him strength in that way, we see him smiling and able to connect with El on a level that isn’t false romance but friendship and love. El clearly prefers this Mike, as we see her smiling and laughing with him when they aren’t forcing themselves into a relationship neither of them are happy in. This is ripped away, however, when Will says, “You’re the heart!” because Mike had truly thought those were Will’s words in the van. He knows El would never say those things, so is heart is crushed with the realization that Will had lied to him: he’s not special, he’s not really the heart, he’s not anything Will described. Mike reverts back to his sense of duty immediately and the pain for both him and El is clear.

Basically, it’s a matter of his inability to prioritize himself and his happiness over his dedication, how he views El as someone he owes and how he views Will as a piece of his happiest and most genuine self, and the fact that he feels as though he must hide his truest self in favor of being the person he thinks El wants, which leads to him pushing Will away and fighting with him despite his desperate want to be himself. He flips around so much because of this push and pull in his head and El and Will not really expressing to him what the want from him. El doesn’t really want a relationship with him, she just thought it would make her normal. Will wants Mike so badly but he can’t tell him that, so he fights for what he thinks Mike’s happiness is. Mike doesn’t communicate what he wants to either of them. All three of them are hot messes.

[runninguplenorahills]

ᴍᴀx ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴜᴄᴀꜱ: ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴇxᴘᴇʀᴛꜱ

byler s3 analysis!

Jumping into season 3 we immediately get to know that Lucas and Max are in an established relationship. Lucas always includes Max in their summer activities and combines hanging out with his girlfriend with hanging out with his best friends. Max being a member of their party too, makes it only logical that they’d all hang out together. Lucas and Max never ditch the party to hang out alone!

The interesting thing is, Mike and El are in a relationship too, though Mike does not include El in their summer activities and oftentimes rather hangs out with El than with his best friends and that even though El is in their party too! They’ve been shown to ditch the party multiple times

This is a stark contrast and we are definitely supposed to pick up on Lumax having a healthier relationship-friendship-balance than marshmallow pie. Also, I don’t know if I’m the only one that felt that way but even though both couples got together at the Snow Ball, Lucas and Max kinda seem like they’ve been together for longer than measuring cup has.

Lumax just radiates the energy that they have more experience with love and being in a relationship [even though they talked about how they’ve broken up like 6 times haha].

Moving forward, mozzarella sticks is in crisis mode and both El and Mike seek out one of the Lumax-members to ask for help. El asks Max for advice and Mike asks Lucas for guidance. In our scenario, Max and Lucas are the love experts! They know what they’re talking about!

Mike asks Lucas how he should apologize to El and Lucas guides him through it all. Mike is totally clueless and Lucas knows exactly what to do. And that’s literally the key to that whole scene! Lucas is the love expert and it’s his actions that are supposed to convey what love is like: when you upset the one you love, you know exactly what to do to make it up to them!

El and Max have more of an upbeat attitude towards the whole break up situation. But still, Max, the love expert, doesn’t fail to share her wisdom about love with El. While Lucas’ focus was more on “what you do when you’re in love”, Max’s focus is more on “what they do when they’re in love with you” and she literally tells El that Mike will come crawling back to her, begging for forgiveness.

The focus altogether is on how Mike would act when he’s in love.

The thing is. None of those things happen with El. Mike is clearly shown not to have a single clue how to react when he upsets her and he also does not come knocking on her door and beg for forgiveness.

But both things happen with Will.

Mike upsets Will and immediately offers him to continue the campaign. When that doesn’t work out and Will leaves, Mike goes straight after him and tries to apologize and explain himself. He ends up upsetting Will again and then bikes through the pouring rain to apologize again, knocking on his door, begging for forgiveness!

The way Mike acts around Will mirrors the love experts’ depiction of what it’s like to be in love perfectly!

Season 3 literally tried to show us that Mike is actually in love with Will!

[aemiron-main-backup]

this show makes me insane the gay Mike analysis makes me insane the way that el’s character form the very beginning aligns perfectly with an arc about Mike being gay/having never loved El romantically is INSANE because it would never work with any other character/girl that isn’t El especially not without ruining their friendship in the end.

But long story short (gonna talk about this at length in the analysis) because El is who she is and is the character that she is, raised in a lab but still loving but also knows how to hold her own etc, she’s been raised outside of the typical heteronormative homophobic society, narratively she’s PERFECT for gay Mike in a show where you’re not supposed to hate people for being gay. Because in the end, when El and the audience find out that Mike never loved El romantically because he’s gay (which imo is very much already demonstrated regardless of s5), El isn’t going to hate him for being gay or be upset that he’s gay the way that somebody who was raised in a heteronormative/homophobic society and then had their heart broken by a gay man likely would. El isn’t going to hate him for anything imo but she’s going to be upset with him but NOT not going to be upset with him because he’s gay/never loved her: she’s going to be upset with him because he lied to her and his from her.

I’m sure she was upset about him not loving her at first, esp before she starts to get an inkling that’s he’s gay, as we see with the bedroom fight in s4, but even in that scene, she’s more upset about the fact that he’s lying to her, that he denies that he never says it. She’s upset that he doesn’t say it/write it, sure, but the main upset imo comes from him lying about it. Especially since even in s3, El was upset, sure, that Mike couldn’t come over to make out the day after Hopper threatened Mike. She was upset about that lack of love/affection! But she was more upset about the lying. She broke up with over the lying, not over him not coming to see her/display affection. Especially since when Mike explains why he couldn’t come over, because of hopper’s threats, if El was still solely focused on Mike loving her/that affection, she would have blamed hopper, as she’s done in the past, and let Mike off the hook. But she doesn’t. Because that’s not what she’s upset about- the lying is.

And I think that especially once El realizes that Mike not loving her had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with him and being gay, and that it’s not that he just loves Will more than her as a person, it’s that he could never love her at all, by NO fault of her own, she’s going to be more understanding.

Again I love bi and unlabelled Mike truthers but NARRATIVELY ALONE bc even tho messy situations like that DO happen irl, I feel like explicitly gay Mike works better because that way, El isn’t pitted against Will. It’s not a matter of actual choice between them, or who Mike loves more. It’s about never having loved El at all, by no fault of her own, because he was unable to. Somebody like El, who feels unloveable, getting an ending where Mike reveals that he just loves Will more? Even if he did ever love her? And even if he never loved her but is still bin, that still shows that there’s something about El as a person that Mike does not love. But if Mike is gay, then it’s not about El at all. It’s not about her being unloveable or loved less compared to Will- it’s about Mike and who he is able to love and his lack of attraction to women.

That’s one of the big things for me about gay Mike from a narrative standpoint and why I believe it’s been set up from the beginning ESPECIALLY in regards to his relationship with El and why El is written the way that she is- it immediately recontextualizes Mike and el’s relationship both for the audience and for El. It shows that El, who has felt unloveable, felt like a monster, felt that she can only be loved as a superhero, and never loved for herself, is not unloveable. It’s that Mike is incapable of loving her. She is not incapable of BEING loved, Mike is incapable of loving her.

If Mike was portrayed as attracted to women and genuinely romantically in love with El at one point, then when Byler becomes canon, it’s about a choice of El over will, which again happens irl for sure, and Mike would not be wrong or bad for making that choice, but NARRATIVELY because these are characters who have themes and arcs and allegories, Mike being anything but gay imply that there is something about El as a person that he doesn’t love, that he won’t love, that there is something about El that is unloveable, which feels like a poor way to address the arc of a character who has canonically felt unloved for the majority of her life and feels unloveable.

But once Mike is confirmed to be gay, it’s not about El at all. It’s about Mike. It’s not that she can’t be loved, it’s that HE can’t love her. He is not physically capable of it. And absolutely, Bi people are MORE than capable of not loving certain people, that they can’t love them because they don’t like who they are as a person, or aren’t attracted to them as a person physically and personality wise, but if Mike is gay, he also literally CANT love her but not because of who she is or what she looks like or anything to do with El- it’s because of who MIKE is. Millie even said herself that Mike Can’t love El in the way that she wants him to. It’s not that he won’t or doesn’t want to, it’s that he can’t.

Like I said, I know that messy situations about falling out of love with someone happen irl, and Mike wouldn’t be wrong or bad for that, not at all. (he’d be wrong for lying about it though just like how he’s wrong for lying about not loving El int he context of being gay). But narratively, if Mike is anything but gay, then there is SOMETHING about El as a person, physically or personality wise or both that he does not like. Which again is valid and happens irl- but when it comes to el’s narrative as a character, as someone who’s centered around feeling unloved for who she is as a person, it’s not the best way to handle that narrative imo, especially if we still want Mike and El to be close/friends the end, which I think is what the duffers are going for, esp since like I said, due to her upbringing and unique character, El wouldn’t hate Mike for being gay/be upset with him because of that. But she IS upset about the idea that there’s something about HER that is unloveable (see: the way she tries to change herself and act like someone she’s not at the airport and rink o mania) and she IS upset about Mike lying to her. So if Mike just doesn’t love HER/loves will more, which, if he’s anything but gay, is the case, then it’s hard to resolve things between Mike and El in a positive way because they get hit but a.) El’s upset about Mike not loving her for who she is/feeling unlovable and b.) Mike lying to her. But if Mike is gay, then a.) is removed, and it’s just upset about Mike lying to her, which, him lying to her about being gay, like I said, is something that I think that El could understand without hating him for it, without being homophobic towards him because of her unique character and upbringing.

And I think that’s the big thing about Mike and his inability to say “I love you” to El. It’s not that he won’t say it or that he doesn’t want to, because then why not just frame it around Mike not being ready to grow up and say it? It’s that he can’t, it’s framed that he can’t say it, he physically cannot get the words out during the aisle scene in season 3 or during the bedroom fight scene. He only manages to say it when El is dying- the only reason why he CAN say it then is because he’s not saying it to El when she’s conscious, and because of something I’m going to explain here but also more in depth during the analysis:

If Mike not being able to say I love you = Mike being gay, and, as I’m going to talk in my analysis, Mike throughout s4 likely knows he is gay/is figuring it out for sure throughout s4 but is trying to decide whether to be in or out of the closet. So, the monologue is his ripping off the bandaid, his “I’m not going to come out as gay I’m going to hide this forever, as far as anyone knows I’m not gay” moment. And that’s why he can say “I love you” (in addition to the fact that he doesn’t even know if El can hear it), because in that moment, for the rest of his life, he thinks he is going to be not gay (gay = not able to say ily, not gay = can’t say ily). But just like other parts of the monologue, which are verifiably untrue, it’s not true. Mike is gay and isn’t going to be in the closet for the rest of his life, regardless of what he thinks. His monologue/attempt to make that choice FAILED, it was full of lies. Mike is lying to himself and to El in that scene. He’s not going to stay in the closet forever. He doesn’t love her.

Again, like I said, Mike is framed in a way where it’s about the idea that he CANNOT say he loves her, like PHYSICALLY CANNOT rather than the idea that he’s not ready, or doesn’t want to. Because he does. That’s the thing. Mike, part of him WANTS to love El, wants to be “normal,” wants to love her in the way she deserves and feels guilty for not being able to do so. We see this in his character. Part of him WANTS to love her, part of him he WANTS to say it but he CANT. They’ve framed it not as personal choice, not as him not liking El/hating her, because he DOES care for her as a person, he DOES idolize her even and DOES care about her, genuinely. But he CANT love her romantically. It’s not that he won’t, or doesn’t want to because there’s something he doesn’t like about El as a person- it’s because he CANT, because he’s gay. It’s not about El at all.

He CANT say it until the monologue. And when he does, like I said, it’s tied to lies about himself and about trying to ‘choose not to be gay/come out of the closet’. He CAN say it in that moment because in a weird way, in his mind, he’s “not gay anymore” because he’s choosing to stay in the closet forever (which is NOT how it works you can’t choose it of course but MIKE needs to realize this, realize that being in the closet forever and acting as if he’s not gay doesn’t make him able to love El, doesn’t make him not gay, even if it makes him able to say it, and even then, he can’t say it to be conscious face and again it’s tied to other lies.)

Narratively, if Mike wheeler is explicitly gay, then it’s not a choice- what isn’t a choice? Not loving El is not a choice. The love triangle is not a choice. The ‘choice’ between Will and El isn’t actually a choice. There IS NO LOVE TRIANGLE. THATS THE THING THE LOVE TRIANGLE DOES NOT EXIST!! BECAUSE EL IS NOT A VIABLE OPTION FOR MIKE!! WILL AND ELL ARENT PITTED AGAINST EACHOTHER BECAUSE THERE IS NO CHOICE RHERE IS NO LOVE TRIANGLE!! Just like how being gay isn’t a choice. And even though el’s an “option” in the sense that Mike could choose to stay in the closet, choose to try and act like he loves her, choose to be her boyfriend, it’s called a LOVE TRIANGLE, not a RELATIONSHIP triangle.

It’s about LOVE, it’s about Mike’s feelings, even if Mike and El stayed as boyfriend and girlfriend until they died and in this exact “love triangle” scenario they’re in now where Mike so with El but had feelings for will, there would still BE NO LOVE TRIANGLE because Mike CANNOT LOVE EL. ITS NOT A RELATIONSHIP TRIANGLE ITS NOT ABOUT WHO HES IN A RELATIONSHIP/CHOOSING TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH!! THE RELATIONSHIP TRIANGLE COULD EXIST!!! SURE!! BUT ITS CALLED A LOVE TRIANGLE BECAUSE ITS ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL AND WHO YOU LOVE AND MIKE CANNOT LOVE EL BECAUSE HES GAY!! EVEN THOUGH HE HAS TO CHOOSE WHAT RELATIONSHIP TO BE IN, HES NOT CHOOSING LOVE. RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE!! MIKES CHOICE IS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS NOT LOVE!! HIS LOVE IS NOT THE CHOICE!! Because if it was, if mike was anything other than gay and his love was a choice between Will and El, choosing betwene his love for both of them, like I said, it’s way more difficult narratively and more importantly, difficulty aside, because ST does not shy away from difficulty, does not align with the narrative as a whole, nor the arcs and underlying themes of each individual character, such as things like El’s arc regarding feeling unloveable.

The love triangle does not exist! There is no choice! I’ve seen people frame it as “the GA needs to realize that Will is a viable love triangle choice for Mike,” but I think that people may want to try looking at it with the lens that it isn’t true that Will is a viable love triangle choice for Mike, the GA are right in that weird regard, although not in the way they think they are. Because the love triangle does not exist because El is not a viable choice for Mike either. Will is not a viable choice for Mike!! Because there’s no choice!! If the love triangle was between Mike and two other men, then Will would be a viable choice. But it’s not. Will is not a viable choice because there’s no choice at all. Even if Mike didn’t love Will as a person in this current in-show love triangle scenario, which he does, there still would be no choice between them because the only option would be Will. So he’s technically not a viable choice in the love triangle because THERE IS NO CHOICE!! He’s a viable choice for mike’s love, sure, in the context of Will versus other men. But not a viable choice in the love triangle because THERE IS NO CHOICE THERE IS NOBODY EXCEPT WILL TO CHOOSE FROM WITHJN THE WILL EL MIKE LOVE TRIANGLE!! Will is not a viable choice and El is also not a viable choice because again, there’s no choice at all because Mike is gay.

Like cmon! The duffers LOVE flipping things on their head, and how would a love triangle be any different? The flip is that IT DOESNT EXIST!! The “choice” that’s inherent to a love triangle is not a choice at all! And I think that’s part of why they showed us the stancy jancy love triangle in s4, to show that Nancy DOES have to make a choice, unlike Mike, who is not making a choice because there is no choice to be made.

Anyway this is a ramble and I’m still refining my thoughts, but I’m gonna address it fully in the analysis.

this show makes me insane the gay Mike analysis makes me insane the way that el’s character form the very beginning aligns perfectly with an arc about Mike being gay/having never loved El romantically is INSANE because it would never work with any other character/girl that isn’t El especially not without ruining their friendship in the end.

But long story short (gonna talk about this at length in the analysis) because El is who she is and is the character that she is, raised in a lab but still loving but also knows how to hold her own etc, she’s been raised outside of the typical heteronormative homophobic society, narratively she’s PERFECT for gay Mike in a show where you’re not supposed to hate people for being gay. Because in the end, when El and the audience find out that Mike never loved El romantically because he’s gay (which imo is very much already demonstrated regardless of s5), El isn’t going to hate him for being gay or be upset that he’s gay the way that somebody who was raised in a heteronormative/homophobic society and then had their heart broken by a gay man likely would. El isn’t going to hate him for anything imo but she’s going to be upset with him but NOT not going to be upset with him because he’s gay/never loved her: she’s going to be upset with him because he lied to her and his from her.

I’m sure she was upset about him not loving her at first, esp before she starts to get an inkling that’s he’s gay, as we see with the bedroom fight in s4, but even in that scene, she’s more upset about the fact that he’s lying to her, that he denies that he never says it. She’s upset that he doesn’t say it/write it, sure, but the main upset imo comes from him lying about it. Especially since even in s3, El was upset, sure, that Mike couldn’t come over to make out the day after Hopper threatened Mike. She was upset about that lack of love/affection! But she was more upset about the lying. She broke up with over the lying, not over him not coming to see her/display affection. Especially since when Mike explains why he couldn’t come over, because of hopper’s threats, if El was still solely focused on Mike loving her/that affection, she would have blamed hopper, as she’s done in the past, and let Mike off the hook. But she doesn’t. Because that’s not what she’s upset about- the lying is.

And I think that especially once El realizes that Mike not loving her had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with him and being gay, and that it’s not that he just loves Will more than her as a person, it’s that he could never love her at all, by NO fault of her own, she’s going to be more understanding.

Again I love bi and unlabelled Mike truthers but NARRATIVELY ALONE bc even tho messy situations like that DO happen irl, I feel like explicitly gay Mike works better because that way, El isn’t pitted against Will. It’s not a matter of actual choice between them, or who Mike loves more. It’s about never having loved El at all, by no fault of her own, because he was unable to. Somebody like El, who feels unloveable, getting an ending where Mike reveals that he just loves Will more? Even if he did ever love her? And even if he never loved her but is still bin, that still shows that there’s something about El as a person that Mike does not love. But if Mike is gay, then it’s not about El at all. It’s not about her being unloveable or loved less compared to Will- it’s about Mike and who he is able to love and his lack of attraction to women.

That’s one of the big things for me about gay Mike from a narrative standpoint and why I believe it’s been set up from the beginning ESPECIALLY in regards to his relationship with El and why El is written the way that she is- it immediately recontextualizes Mike and el’s relationship both for the audience and for El. It shows that El, who has felt unloveable, felt like a monster, felt that she can only be loved as a superhero, and never loved for herself, is not unloveable. It’s that Mike is incapable of loving her. She is not incapable of BEING loved, Mike is incapable of loving her.

If Mike was portrayed as attracted to women and genuinely romantically in love with El at one point, then when Byler becomes canon, it’s about a choice of El over will, which again happens irl for sure, and Mike would not be wrong or bad for making that choice, but NARRATIVELY because these are characters who have themes and arcs and allegories, Mike being anything but gay imply that there is something about El as a person that he doesn’t love, that he won’t love, that there is something about El that is unloveable, which feels like a poor way to address the arc of a character who has canonically felt unloved for the majority of her life and feels unloveable.

But once Mike is confirmed to be gay, it’s not about El at all. It’s about Mike. It’s not that she can’t be loved, it’s that HE can’t love her. He is not physically capable of it. And absolutely, Bi people are MORE than capable of not loving certain people, that they can’t love them because they don’t like who they are as a person, or aren’t attracted to them as a person physically and personality wise, but if Mike is gay, he also literally CANT love her but not because of who she is or what she looks like or anything to do with El- it’s because of who MIKE is. Millie even said herself that Mike Can’t love El in the way that she wants him to. It’s not that he won’t or doesn’t want to, it’s that he can’t.

Like I said, I know that messy situations about falling out of love with someone happen irl, and Mike wouldn’t be wrong or bad for that, not at all. (he’d be wrong for lying about it though just like how he’s wrong for lying about not loving El int he context of being gay). But narratively, if Mike is anything but gay, then there is SOMETHING about El as a person, physically or personality wise or both that he does not like. Which again is valid and happens irl- but when it comes to el’s narrative as a character, as someone who’s centered around feeling unloved for who she is as a person, it’s not the best way to handle that narrative imo, especially if we still want Mike and El to be close/friends the end, which I think is what the duffers are going for, esp since like I said, due to her upbringing and unique character, El wouldn’t hate Mike for being gay/be upset with him because of that. But she IS upset about the idea that there’s something about HER that is unloveable (see: the way she tries to change herself and act like someone she’s not at the airport and rink o mania) and she IS upset about Mike lying to her. So if Mike just doesn’t love HER/loves will more, which, if he’s anything but gay, is the case, then it’s hard to resolve things between Mike and El in a positive way because they get hit but a.) El’s upset about Mike not loving her for who she is/feeling unlovable and b.) Mike lying to her. But if Mike is gay, then a.) is removed, and it’s just upset about Mike lying to her, which, him lying to her about being gay, like I said, is something that I think that El could understand without hating him for it, without being homophobic towards him because of her unique character and upbringing.

And I think that’s the big thing about Mike and his inability to say “I love you” to El. It’s not that he won’t say it or that he doesn’t want to, because then why not just frame it around Mike not being ready to grow up and say it? It’s that he can’t, it’s framed that he can’t say it, he physically cannot get the words out during the aisle scene in season 3 or during the bedroom fight scene. He only manages to say it when El is dying- the only reason why he CAN say it then is because he’s not saying it to El when she’s conscious, and because of something I’m going to explain here but also more in depth during the analysis:

If Mike not being able to say I love you = Mike being gay, and, as I’m going to talk in my analysis, Mike throughout s4 likely knows he is gay/is figuring it out for sure throughout s4 but is trying to decide whether to be in or out of the closet. So, the monologue is his ripping off the bandaid, his “I’m not going to come out as gay I’m going to hide this forever, as far as anyone knows I’m not gay” moment. And that’s why he can say “I love you” (in addition to the fact that he doesn’t even know if El can hear it), because in that moment, for the rest of his life, he thinks he is going to be not gay (gay = not able to say ily, not gay = can’t say ily). But just like other parts of the monologue, which are verifiably untrue, it’s not true. Mike is gay and isn’t going to be in the closet for the rest of his life, regardless of what he thinks. His monologue/attempt to make that choice FAILED, it was full of lies. Mike is lying to himself and to El in that scene. He’s not going to stay in the closet forever. He doesn’t love her.

Again, like I said, Mike is framed in a way where it’s about the idea that he CANNOT say he loves her, like PHYSICALLY CANNOT rather than the idea that he’s not ready, or doesn’t want to. Because he does. That’s the thing. Mike, part of him WANTS to love El, wants to be “normal,” wants to love her in the way she deserves and feels guilty for not being able to do so. We see this in his character. Part of him WANTS to love her, part of him he WANTS to say it but he CANT. They’ve framed it not as personal choice, not as him not liking El/hating her, because he DOES care for her as a person, he DOES idolize her even and DOES care about her, genuinely. But he CANT love her romantically. It’s not that he won’t, or doesn’t want to because there’s something he doesn’t like about El as a person- it’s because he CANT, because he’s gay. It’s not about El at all.

He CANT say it until the monologue. And when he does, like I said, it’s tied to lies about himself and about trying to ‘choose not to be gay/come out of the closet’. He CAN say it in that moment because in a weird way, in his mind, he’s “not gay anymore” because he’s choosing to stay in the closet forever (which is NOT how it works you can’t choose it of course but MIKE needs to realize this, realize that being in the closet forever and acting as if he’s not gay doesn’t make him able to love El, doesn’t make him not gay, even if it makes him able to say it, and even then, he can’t say it to be conscious face and again it’s tied to other lies.)

Narratively, if Mike wheeler is explicitly gay, then it’s not a choice- what isn’t a choice? Not loving El is not a choice. The love triangle is not a choice. The ‘choice’ between Will and El isn’t actually a choice. There IS NO LOVE TRIANGLE. THATS THE THING THE LOVE TRIANGLE DOES NOT EXIST!! BECAUSE EL IS NOT A VIABLE OPTION FOR MIKE!! WILL AND ELL ARENT PITTED AGAINST EACHOTHER BECAUSE THERE IS NO CHOICE RHERE IS NO LOVE TRIANGLE!! Just like how being gay isn’t a choice. And even though el’s an “option” in the sense that Mike could choose to stay in the closet, choose to try and act like he loves her, choose to be her boyfriend, it’s called a LOVE TRIANGLE, not a RELATIONSHIP triangle.

It’s about LOVE, it’s about Mike’s feelings, even if Mike and El stayed as boyfriend and girlfriend until they died and in this exact “love triangle” scenario they’re in now where Mike so with El but had feelings for will, there would still BE NO LOVE TRIANGLE because Mike CANNOT LOVE EL. ITS NOT A RELATIONSHIP TRIANGLE ITS NOT ABOUT WHO HES IN A RELATIONSHIP/CHOOSING TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH!! THE RELATIONSHIP TRIANGLE COULD EXIST!!! SURE!! BUT ITS CALLED A LOVE TRIANGLE BECAUSE ITS ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL AND WHO YOU LOVE AND MIKE CANNOT LOVE EL BECAUSE HES GAY!! EVEN THOUGH HE HAS TO CHOOSE WHAT RELATIONSHIP TO BE IN, HES NOT CHOOSING LOVE. RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE!! MIKES CHOICE IS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS NOT LOVE!! HIS LOVE IS NOT THE CHOICE!! Because if it was, if mike was anything other than gay and his love was a choice between Will and El, choosing betwene his love for both of them, like I said, it’s way more difficult narratively and more importantly, difficulty aside, because ST does not shy away from difficulty, does not align with the narrative as a whole, nor the arcs and underlying themes of each individual character, such as things like El’s arc regarding feeling unloveable.

The love triangle does not exist! There is no choice! I’ve seen people frame it as “the GA needs to realize that Will is a viable love triangle choice for Mike,” but I think that people may want to try looking at it with the lens that it isn’t true that Will is a viable love triangle choice for Mike, the GA are right in that weird regard, although not in the way they think they are. Because the love triangle does not exist because El is not a viable choice for Mike either. Will is not a viable choice for Mike!! Because there’s no choice!! If the love triangle was between Mike and two other men, then Will would be a viable choice. But it’s not. Will is not a viable choice because there’s no choice at all. Even if Mike didn’t love Will as a person in this current in-show love triangle scenario, which he does, there still would be no choice between them because the only option would be Will. So he’s technically not a viable choice in the love triangle because THERE IS NO CHOICE!! He’s a viable choice for mike’s love, sure, in the context of Will versus other men. But not a viable choice in the love triangle because THERE IS NO CHOICE THERE IS NOBODY EXCEPT WILL TO CHOOSE FROM WITHJN THE WILL EL MIKE LOVE TRIANGLE!! Will is not a viable choice and El is also not a viable choice because again, there’s no choice at all because Mike is gay.

Like cmon! The duffers LOVE flipping things on their head, and how would a love triangle be any different? The flip is that IT DOESNT EXIST!! The “choice” that’s inherent to a love triangle is not a choice at all! And I think that’s part of why they showed us the stancy jancy love triangle in s4, to show that Nancy DOES have to make a choice, unlike Mike, who is not making a choice because there is no choice to be made.

Anyway this is a ramble and I’m still refining my thoughts, but I’m gonna address it fully in the analysis.

[maydaybraids]

I feel like I’m the only one who really appreciated Will’s monologue explaining the painting to Mike. It’s actually really disheartening to see everyone saying that they are upset by it and how it was used to further Mike and Eleven’s relationship. If you think that, you’re missing the point that this was a really great scene showing the experience of a gay boy who is still processing his own sexuality in the 1980s completely on his own.

Let me break this down: at this point we know that Will is gay and has feelings for Mike. Will is complex and his character from the first episode has been highlighted as being emotionally intelligent beyond his years. That being said, they haven’t actually told us that. To me this suggests that Will is still figuring this out himself and the painting monologue was a huge part of him processing and accepting it. Additionally, you cannot expect Mike, the hard headed dude who can’t process simple emotions, to be able to pick up on anything that Will subtly hints towards. That’s just not the character that makes up Mike.

In my personal experience, I developed feelings for a friend before I knew what sexuality even was. I grew up extremely sheltered from gay relationships and was extremely confused and frustrated that I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I grew slightly possessive and jealous of my friend when she would spend more time with other people. She started to question why and I immediately threw up walls and pretended like I never felt that way. I can only imagine that this situation isn’t as common as it once was. I know it still happens but let flashback to Robin worrying about asking the wrong girl out and being outed and ostracized. Contextually, it makes sense that Will does not fully come out to Mike or tell him how he feels. One, he feels hated by the world and two, he doesn’t want Mike to look at him differently. It wouldn’t make sense for this to be moving slowly. I mean for fucks sake, they are only freshmen in high school. I didn’t even accept my sexuality until I was 25!

The scene with Jonathan at Surfer Boy just highlights the fact that Will has been very much forgotten and left behind, even by his family. El’s lack of friends is highlighted but if you look close, it kind of seems like Will hasn’t really made any either. And his best friend who was always the one who checked in on him is pulling away even more. Will and Mike’s friendship was always Mike chasing after Will and in season three we see Will’s distraught over Mike pulling away. And even though they reconciled at the end of that season, season four told us that Mike has pulled away even further. (Now is that because he is somewhat aware of Will’s feelings and maybe unsure of how to handle that with a potential for somewhat requited feelings? I believe so.)

I personally think it would be a disservice to a portrayal of a queer experience to undermine Will’s painting monologue as simple plot device for a straight relationship. Will love El and Mike. More than anything, he wants to comfort Mike and for him to be happy. So he used the painting to do that. But I’m the midst of it he got caught up in processing his own experience and emotions. That’s the whole reason that he started getting teary eyed. He was upset that Mike is with Eleven. He was upset because this is probably the first he ever been able to put into words what he is going through. It was a cathartic release and a moment I really resonated with and felt because I have been there! That was a big first step on my journey to self acceptance in my sexuality.

OKAY what I would like to see happen in the future but also just don’t know if we will have time for it in Will’s journey to self acceptance: Will and Mike do have a chat and Will comes out to Mike and admits his feelings but knows, accepts, and communicates that 1) even if Mike in some way reciprocates the feelings, that he is not at a place of self acceptance where any type of healthy romantic relationship is viable and 2) Will doesn’t actually want a relationship with Mike because he has recognized that it would never be what he wants it to be because of romanticizing the whole thing.

In the end, Will is able to use this as a development situation where he fully comes to terms with his sexuality. Simultaneously, Mike begins this process. Together, they remain very good friends that have come to terms with their differences in situation but look beyond that because their bond goes beyond that of any thing romantic or friendship. Maybe down the line we see them in a relationship later in life ala Harry Potter epilogue style.

I think the prioritizing self acceptance and portraying the differences in that process of coming out to yourself versus the ones around you could be so freaking impactful to the community as a whole. It also would just be so great to see gays who have feelings for each other accept this but recognize that they aren’t ready for an actual relationship and may never be but use it to develop themselves.

If complex queers and their relationships is what you want, this is a great example of movement towards that. That it’s not just about the relationships themselves anymore. We’ve achieved that. Now it’s about the complexities of those individuals and relationships that make them different and harder to navigate than straight ones.

In conclusion, Will Byers in season four is the perfect example of the representation that we need.

[luckybyler]

I swear some people lack even a modicum of emotional intelligence. There's a reddit thread saying Will was at fault for not reaching out (normal and valid opinion), and I said that the last time he did, they mocked him for still liking DnD. This was the reply (not from OP) that I got:

I'll copy my answer here, because I think it's important to understand their fight better:

----

That's exactly how Mike or Lucas would describe the situation if they posted on /r/amitheasshole and wanted everyone to validate them and agree with them.

1. It's clear that the issue wasn't about Will wanting to play that single DnD campaign. The context was that Mike had been ditching his friends to go make out with El for a long time now. We heard it from many characters, including Lucas himself, not just Will.

2.

Will wakes Mike and Lucas early in the morning to spring a D&D game on them.

Which implies they had a sleepover at Mike's, right? The three of them. And I assume all they did was talk about their breakups with El and Max respectively, while Will was just ... there, probably wondering if they could be their old selves for at least a day.

Although they aren’t enthusiastic, they agree to play.

Ding ding ding!!! Here's mistake #1. Either play enthusiastically, or use your words and say "Will, our girlfriends just broke up with us, we're trying to get them back, and we're not in the mood to play DnD". It would still have led to an argument ("and when you get them back you'll ditch me again"), but it would've been a smaller, more open and solvable one.

Will protests that the Khuisar tribe still needs their help. Mike proposes a course of action that will save the Khuisar and end the campaign. Lucas agrees.

Yes, mockingly. The campaign lasted for long, but that is standard for their DnD campaigns. Doing this was worse than just not playing (and explaining to him why). This is the part where the OP in the AITA post says "I was totally calm and offered a fair solution based on facts and logic and the other person went crazy for no reason 🤷🏻‍♀️" when they know good and well there was a damn good reason.

When they see that Will is upset, Mike offers to finish the campaign “for real” and Lucas concurs. Will refuses and leaves.

They offer that just to appease him, not because they really want to keep playing. Will refuses and leaves because he's not an idiot and sees that the offer isn't sincere. You know the meme that women say "I don't want you to do the dishes, I want you to want to do the dishes"? That's what we mean. Will wanted them to enjoy their friendship together like they did before, for at least one day. Not to force them to play for his benefit.

In the course of their confrontation, where Will accuses Mike of destroying the Party and refers to El as “some stupid girl”

And Will was right that Mike was destroying the Party.

and Mike counters that it’s not his fault Will doesn’t like girls, Mike asks if he thought that they’d never get girlfriends and would play games in his basement for the rest of their lives.

Translation: "I'M NOT GAY WILL!!! Also I outgrew you and my concerns are more important than yours".

This hurt Will's feelings so bad that it shattered his whole childhood (really, that's literally in the script: "his childhood, gone."), he was so hurt that he destroyed his safe haven with the baseball bat that his abusive dad gave him. That's the sort of thing that will come up in therapy for the rest of Will's life, and it never got resolved.

Lucas apologises for his lack of interest in Will’s D&D campaign, calling it really cool.

When they're too busy with the monster thing, so Will says it's not important anymore. Not because it really isn't, but because the supernatural crept in again. And yet again, it rings hollow.

When Will adds his D&D manual to the box to be donated to Erica, Mike asks if he’s sure, and points out that he might want to join another Party. Will says that that won’t happen.

It's a beautiful moment and it solves the surface problem, but (as we see in season 4) the damage is already done. This is putting a band-aid on a festering wound. They're back to being friends and he's not mad about the DnD thing specifically, but it's no longer the same. Now, besides the caution that comes with being in love with Mike and not wanting to come off too strong or reveal his true feelings, now he has also the nagging thought on the back of his head that maybe he's not that important to Mike, or that he's a bother or a nuisance to him. Their relationship can't be fully repaired until that issue is actually and meaningfully addressed, which it hasn't been as of now.

None of the characters make fun of Will for liking D&D.

Maybe "make fun of" is the wrong expression. They belittle him and act condescendingly to him for it.

Having priorities other than D&D doesn’t mean that Mike, Dustin and Lucas no longer like the game, or that they look down on Will for enjoying it.

But that's now it came off. There's no other way to interpret Mike's words during their fight in the rain.

We see in Season 4 that with El thousands of miles away, Lucas and Max broken up, and no Russian spies for Dustin to chase down, the three of them join Hellfire Club.

1. Maybe not as far as Will knows (only a couple of calls), and 2. That makes it worse. From Will's POV, it looks like they called him childish (at the ripe old age of 13 years old) for still liking DnD, only to turn around and join a DnD club the second he's gone. That's gotta hurt.

I'm not saying Mike or Lucas are evil or anything, I'm just shedding light on why it's understandable that Will didn't reach out and instead waited to see if Mike still wanted to be best friends with him. And the next time he sees him, Mike acts like a dick to him at the airport giving him a bullshit No Homo shoulder tap and being awkward about the painting, basically confirming that it's true that he's "not interested in anything I have to say".

----

I think Will and Mike still need to address this in Season 5 in order to heal. And of course, and we Byler's know, to be together.

[wheeier]

no taking back

summary: it was only fun and games. but steve had other plans.

warnings: modern au, tooth-rotting fluff i guess, little but of swearing

+ olivia rodrigo’s sour album (stream besties), the movie tangled at the end because it just radiates as a comfort movie

yes a modern au !!! i just saw this on tiktok (the sour part, but the rest was my idea!) and thought it was so cute so it gave me an idea to make it as a fic, enjoy !!!

steve harrington x fem!reader

olivia rodrigo’s new album just released and you were thrilled to listen to it and stream it the whole day.

when you finally got to listen to it, you asked your friends—robin, nancy, and the party, if they listened to it and which ones were their favorites.

robin told you that her top three were hope ur ok, jealousy, jealousy, and brutal.

nancy said she really loved favorite crime.

max said hers was also brutal.

el told you that she played good 4 u and traitor on repeat that hopper had to go into her room to turn it down.

when mike comes over to the cabin he can assure that el does indeed play them on repeat and get pissy about it (but he secretly loves the album, but he wouldn’t let her or anyone know that).

and lastly lucas and dustin are fans of deja vu and 1 step forward 3 steps back. max even told you that they would sing the bridge of deja vu on the top of their lungs.

you slightly laughed at the memory of them telling you about it.

however, there’s one more person that you haven’t talked to about it yet.

steve.

your smile faltered and faded when he came across in your mind.

your feelings for him had deepened over the time and listening to the sour album made it feel like you two had broken up, which in fact, is not true because you were never together in the first place.

suddenly, an idea popped in your head. instead of being sad about steve, you thought about texting him, although it’s almost 1AM, you knew he’d still be up.

Sailor Man

You: hey

You: u up?

Sailor Man: duh

Sailor Man: this has been our nightly routine u always bother me when i’m about to go to sleep

You: fuck off

You: don’t pretend that you’re not binge watching outer banks until 4am

Sailor Man: i’m not?!?

You: yeah right

You: anyways

You: can u do me a favor

Sailor Man: will i get free pizza afterwards

You: no

Sailor Man: k

You: what the fuck

You: fine

Sailor Man: hehe

Sailor Man: what’s the favor ;)

You: dont get me started with that winky face i swear ure so dead when i see you at the wheeler’s house tomorrow

You: have you listened to olivia rodrigo’s new album

Sailor Man: ohh the bitter album?

You: ITS SOUR DUMBASS

Sailor Man: I DONT KNOW?!?

You: I CANT DO THIS HJAGSK

Sailor Man: shut up

Sailor Man: i’ve heard some of the songs but i haven’t fully listened to them

Sailor Man: why

You: can you like

You: ask me to be ur girlfriend then break up with me right after so i can experience and actually feel the whole sour album

Sailor Man: what

You: just do it !!

Sailor Man: you’re so funny (y/n/n)

Sailor Man: okay

Sailor Man: will you be my girlfriend?

You: yes !!!

You: ...

You: hello

You: dont tell me u fell asleep

Sailor Man: i’m not doing the last part you might as well forget about it

You: wjat

Sailor Man: :D

You: wtf

You: okay steve cut it out i’m not doing this anymore u’re not funny

Sailor Man: nope

Sailor Man: go to sleep we’re dating now that’s how this works

Sailor Man: okay i dont know if you’re still reading this now and i am terrified to say this to you in person like TERRIFIED. might piss my pants if i did. so (y/n/n), my favorite dumbass, my favorite person to talk to at night even if it interrupts my binge watching marathon, you make me so happy to the point that even when i sleep you’re still in my dreams. i like you. i have like the biggest fattest crush on you. and thank you for doing that sour album thing or whatever, because of that i get to finally ask you out

you rolled on your back after you read the message, facing the ceiling as your mind processed what just happened. was he playing with you? was he actually serious about asking you out?

Incoming video call...

Sailor Man

you took a deep breath before tapping the green button and placing it back down on the bed.

“hey,” you can tell that he was tired based on his voice. “can you show your face, please? i miss you.”

ignoring the butterflies in your stomach, you hesitantly lifted the phone and shifted your position to lay on your side. “hey.”

“hey yourself.” steve grins. that stupid grin that makes your stomach turn, that grin you always want to see everyday.

“what’s..up?” you avoided looking at him and started to admire your surroundings and the posters placed on your wall. this was the only time you were glad you weren’t with him in person.

“i just wanted to see if you’re okay.” of course he will ask that. he's steve. he cares about other more than himself.

“i am, thanks.” you showed a smile that doesn't reach your ears and steve knew something was bothering you. “hey, look. i'm sorry about my confession- if it made you uncomfortable i'm sorry-”

“no,” you cut him off, looking back at his face on the screen. “i’m fine, really. you don't have to apologize. i was just, surprised.”

there was silence between the two of you for a few seconds, before you spoke again. “did you mean it?” you voice was only above whisper but steve managed to hear them. “of course,” he answered almost too quick, without any hesitation. “i've been trying to find the perfect opportunity and had been asking god for signs because i can't make a move myself-”

“asking god?” you chuckled and steve smiled hearing them, glad that he somehow lightened the mood. “well, more like begging.” he continues and you giggled.

once your laughter died you both fell into silence again. you still couldn’t believe that out of a fun joke, it would turn into a whole another situation. “so, um.. just so you know, i’m not mad, or upset, or anything. i really was just surprised. it felt like a dream because i didn’t know that you like me back and all i did was just supposed to be a fun joke but—”

“hold on, back?”

“what?”

“like you back. you said i like you back.” steve sat up on his bed and fixed his hair as his eyes widened. “i did...” you said slowly, not catching up.

“does that mean you..”

then it hit you. “oh, right. yeah. i- i like you..too.” you waited for his reaction and once you saw him smile you couldn’t stop yourself from doing the same.

“i knew it. and well, i guess that confirms it. we’re dating now. no taking back.” he smirks then laughs when your rolled your eyes. “don’t flatter yourself, harrington. i did not say shit.” you pointed your index finger on the screen, barely containing your giggles.

“based on your beautiful smile i think you don’t need to say it. i like you, and you like me. we’re dating.” steve gives you a teasing smile. you tried keeping your serious face but it won’t last longer so you finally smiled again. “alright, fine. no taking backs. we’re dating.” you said then laughed as he whisper-yelled ‘yes!’ while fist pumping the air.

he soon joined your laughter and you stayed like that until your jaw was pretty much in pain because of your smiles. when it was all quiet again, you both just admired each other’s presence through the screens of your phones. “i wish i was there with you.” he mumbles. “yeah, me too.” you hugged your cold pillow beside you, closing your eyes for a moment and imagining it as steve.

“are your parents home?”

you snorted at his random question. “i’m actually alone right now, they’re out because dad got promoted at his work so he and mom and i think a few friends went out to celebrate. they should be home by an hour or two. why?”

“nothing.” was all he said before hanging up. you were left confused but then he’s your best friend after all, so you knew right then and there that he’ll do something stupid. after you turned your phone off you suddenly felt watching a movie so you went to the kitchen to make some popcorn.

when it was finished and had been put in a bowl, that’s when you heard your doorbell rang—in a pattern which you recognize, and only one person does that.

you let out a quiet laugh when you realized who it was and set the bowl on the counter before opening the door.

“hi!” steve greeted you with a smile. “uh, hi?” you laughed nervously and stepped aside for him to go in. “i smell popcorn, are we having a movie night?” he says as he steps inside and shrugged off his jacket. “actually yeah, i’m planning on watching—”

“tangled.” he finishes off, you subconsciously smiled upon hearing your favorite movie. “how’d you know?”

steve snatches a few popcorns from the bowl as you both arrived in the kitchen. “(y/n), you have watched that movie 7 times this week and always gush to me about it.”

“well, you’re the only one that is around my age that i can talk to with that movie. robin and nancy aren’t that into it.” you replied, grabbing the bowl and making your way back to your bedroom, steve following your heels. “and you think i’m the best option to talk to about that?” he asks, plopping down on your bed and resting his back on the headboard.

“you’re not complaining.” you shrugged as you grabbed your laptop and sat beside steve.

“yeah, probably because i like you.” it came out of his mouth casually. you froze in place and felt your cheeks heat up, finally nodding your head slowly, “..probably.” as you typed in the movie in your laptop you felt steve scoot closer, making your breath hitch.

you were both in a comfortable silence while watching the movie, except for a few jokes and comments that steve makes and him explaining how similar he was to flynn rider.

“you know, since i’m eugene, you could be rapunzel.” he suddenly says. you eyes were still on the screen but your eyebrows furrowed. “why? i’m nothing like her.”

finally looking at steve, you almost screamed how he was already looking at you. “oh, you are so rapunzel. you may not have the longest hair in the world, but you are pretty much similar.” he replies, smiling and not taking his eyes off of you.

you paused the movie and shifted your body towards him, intrigued by his explaination. “how so?”

“well, first off,” steve starts, resting his hands on the soft mattress. “you’re both sweet, you’re both a huge ray of sunshine, have gorgeous eyes and smile, and eugene is head over heels over you — and since he doesn’t exist in real life, i’d like to be the substitute.” he finished with a confident smile.

after about three seconds, you burst out of laughter. you laughed. as much as he loves the sound of your laugh, he can’t help but pout. “(y/n), i’m trying to be sweet here!”

“i’m sorry!- it’s just- i can’t help but laugh at your flirting.” you managed to say between your laughs. you know he’s kidding but he looked at you like he was offended.

your laughter died down and held steve’s face. “it’s cute, sorry.” you mumble with a little laugh. when he finally smiled you turned to your laptop and continued the movie.

steve gazes at you for a few more seconds before watching the movie with you again. “thank you.” you whisper, glancing at him.

“you’re very much welcome, my rapunzel.” he says smiling before he slides a bit down on the bed so his head could reach your shoulder and rests it there.

you giggled as you heard him whisper,

“thank you, olivia rodrigo.”

[brionysea]

there’s one part of how el acted after the monologue that always stood out to me as odd. when she overpowers vecna, and has him pinned to one of his pillar things, and is glaring daggers at him, and he starts saying more of his generic evil villain lines

“you and your friends believe you have won. don’t you?”

i mean. that’s just... blatantly mocking their perception of the situation. their inability to see the reality of what they’re dealing with. vecna plays games, he makes people see things that aren’t real, that’s what he does. max even says so. but who said the game had to be simple? if anything, it’s the opposite: our cast of heroes spent most of the season being unable to figure out the rules of the game. there are big questions that they really dawdled on or never got answers to. a lot of them, actually. but how do we know they were asking the right questions in the first place?

el isn’t fazed, though. she’s not caught off guard. she doesn’t look confused at all. and there’s a lot of emphasis put on how el’s “not stupid” in this show

“but this is only the beginning. the beginning of the end.”

super ominous, dude. and pretty clearly hinting towards a larger plan outside of the curse and the gates

“you have already lost,” vecna says, two seconds away from being barbecued and not overly bothered about that, despite apparently knowing the good guys’ plan the whole time, including that nancy, steve and robin are in his fortress of solitude with lethal intent and homemade flamethrowers

“no,” el says back, murder in her eyes, completely sure of herself, “you have.”

it’s all just very weird to me. what are they even talking about? it feels like a conversation that we’re not clued into. it could be about the gates and max, sure, but it feels so distinct that i can’t believe it’s just that

recontextualising el’s sudden certainty and anger and everything else going on with her here as her figuring vecna out, connecting the dots about the next phase of his plan before the current one’s even technically finished, makes so much more sense. she figured out why he’s so sure of himself right now, which is in turn why she’s so sure of herself: he already has a foothold (or two) in the group. no matter what they do next, no matter how they choose to act against him, he’ll know and he’ll be ready. unless el counteracts it by withholding the information he’d need to know, which explains why will and mike look so baffled when they find out that a “miracle” brought max back to life. el doesn’t offer up an explanation for that, despite their obvious curiosity, outside of the whispered “i’m sorry” during her hug with lucas that presumably only he heard

and the thing is, if el ignoring the boys during the two day time skip was about the monologue and the romantic drama, it kind of makes no sense. she’s the one who brought up the L-word conflict in the first place, so getting a result, any result, should’ve been good in her eyes. if she’s upset that mike lied, why wouldn’t she call him on it like she did multiple times just one season ago? like she did this season? and why would giving mike the silent treatment extend to will too? he didn’t do anything. they had a very emotional reunion, like, yesterday. they’re family. el wouldn’t let a boy come between them unless she had a very good reason to

the explanation we get from mike is that el’s upset about losing, but that doesn’t sit right with me because in conflating the two topics by having will ask after el and mike’s relationship, it kind of implies that she’s blaming them (and probably mike specifically, considering his heavy involvement) for what happened to max, which is just... no. people put a lot of blame on mike for things that aren’t his fault but el typically isn’t one of them. she blames herself, which is pretty clear in the bottle spinning scene, so what is she doing?

the way el was acting in the lead up to the reunion with hopper is pretty weird too. she’s in the cabin with mike and will... somewhere nearby, possibly still out in the main room. jonathan and nancy are outside, so not really in her general vicinity. she hears a noise from elsewhere in the cabin, then footsteps approaching her bedroom, and immediately goes on the defensive like she’s expecting someone to burst in and attack her. and yes, she’s had a week so it’s understandable that she’d be on edge, but it’s been two days. things have calmed down, the adrenaline has worn off. she hasn’t seen the government car outside so she has no reason to expect trouble. as far as she knows the only people nearby are her friends, family and allies, with will and mike being the closest. people she supposedly trusts. so why’s she squaring up like she’s preparing to fight a demogorgon?

all of this also makes her reaction to seeing hopper again so much more adorable and kind of heartbreaking, because she knows she can trust him right now. he takes the weight off her shoulders just by being there

Scary Red Light I Forgot About is Now Relevant Again - The Monologue (Theory? Analysis?)

OKAY SO-

I was scrolling through the monologue pictures I’ve got on hand (literally every shot of the monologue)- and I was looking at the infamous bby girl you’re the heart and- well- I need someone to tell me here that I’m not just seeing shit. Because to my knowledge light doesn’t reflect on you’re eyelashes like that. And oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuckkkkkkkkkk- uh.

I think I might have found something else actually. And I’m gonna share this thought with y’all now because I can’t keep this one in my head.

Let’s start off here. Mike just before the start of the monologue. Now what I’m about to say is going to sound really out there but like crazy together right? So season four and season two parallel each other a stupid amount. My favourite example of this is Steve’s sunglasses in the first ep of season two and how he’s wearing them inside, and then Mike in season four at the airport. There’s plenty more than that and enough that it’s just plain weird.

One thing that’s sticking out to me now, today after starting at mike during the monologue for a while- is that Will got possessed in season two. Like full on mind controlled and body stolen possessed. And sure Vecna trances are a thing now but it’s not the same as what happened with Will. Not really.

So that picture up there with Mike and Will is the start of something that makes so much sense and sounds so out there- but it makes sense. I’ll shut up about it being out there now and actually explain it.

Notice how different the lighting is when Mike turns to Will? It’s not actually that different, it’s just that Mike’s left eye (left eye like the one that’s used to signify Vecna- as well as his left hand, which is the one Mike’s holding El’s with) isn’t in shadow anymore. Still kinda looks a bit like he’s got a healing black eye though.

And looking at Will it’s about the same sort of lighting as Mike, but less of a harsh contrast. While Will tells Mike that he’s “the heart” in order to push him to do the actual monologue, there’s a red stripe behind him and a blue light flashing. It’s like the snowball setting and the creel house being represented together. Will’s shirt is also much darker blue striped than it’s been prior to the monologue. Little things are just a bit off with Mike and Will.

Mike and Will put the water in the freezer. Mike was in front of the jaws poster during “best friends”. Will was in front of a picture of water during the shootout. Mike had a fucking seven up can in his hand when talking to Will on that car. Mike and Will have been in danger the whole time. Vecna, during the Hellfire game, took Mike out first. Dustin and Erica were the ones that made it through. We’ve joked a lot about Mike being that meddling kid in Vecna’s plans… but what if he actually did something about it before Mike left for California? Or maybe he just needed to open a gate first.

And then Will’s left eye gets darker after he encourages Mike to do the monologue.

And Mike turns back around and now he’s in front of the red and his left eye is back in shadow.

Then this shit starts to happen. Mikes face starts getting redder and so does Will’s, y’know, like they’re both getting closer to the Creel house? And there’s still red and blue behind them and the lighting behind Will honestly kinda looks like that scene in the byers shed. With Morse code and the lights. And there’s still more

Mike and Will look very different than Jonathan. Jonathan doesn’t have a red sheen to his face, and his left eye isn’t weirdly cast in dramatic, persistent shadow. Something really bad is happening with Mike and Will. Really fucking bad.

Mike was one of the people that was able to tell when Will wasn’t himself. And he was one of the people that was able to ground him long enough for Will to talk to them in Morse code. So what if Vecna just took them both? I’m still not done yet- there’s more. There is so much more

“That day we found you in the woods.” Mike’s fucking eye is still scaring me. This. Is. Not. Okay. Duffers. I. Am. In. Your. Walls.

So in El’s flashback of when she first met the party, we see baby Mike with the most pissed off expression on his face. El knows he’s lying during the monologue. That’s a given with how she reacts to him telling her that he loves her. But this is also another thing that’s just off. Like Mike and Will’s expressions, they both seem slightly confused. Both of them.

They look so weird during the monologue. And both their god damn left eyes are in the dark the whole time.

El is holding Mike’s hand like she’s trying to break it. It kind of just looks like she’s holding his thumb in her hand. 

Mike and Will are still making that weird expression and the red glow is on their face. 

And El seems to realize something. And then she’s able to pull away the vines.

When Mike turns his head away before saying I love you, the darkness covers both his eyes and his expression is distraught. And his eyebrows don’t look like they’re doing weird shit.

But then it’s right back, and Will’s still behind him in the same position. and expression. His face looks wrong. And so does Will’s. Something is very off here.

The left side of Mike’s face gets even darker and El just looks angry. But what if she’s not angry at Mike? What if the monologue isn’t the actual problem here? What if the problem is that Max is in front of her, and Vecna is killing her and that Mike and Will are both acting wrong.

The red light that’s only on Mike and Will’s faces, the fact that it’s only Mike and Will’s left eyes that are shaded, the fact that they’ve both been lying the whole time this season. 

What if he’s been using Mike and Will to spy on El.

Look at this, it’s terrifying. The shadows on Mike and Will’s faces are darkening and spreading in synch with each other. I hate it. I hate it here. But there’s still one last thing. I first noticed it a while ago and just thought it was weird. Because it’s not light because it’s not interacting with the papers on the surface. And so I though well maybe they wanted to include the destruction even if it doesn’t really make sense for it to be there.

These three? Normal.

This one? I want to not look at it because I find it genuinly terrifying. What The Actual Fuck Is That Shit Behind Argyle and Jonathan. 

Fucking eye of Sauron in the Surfer Boy Pizza. Fucking fuck fuck fuck

And still Mike and Will’s faces and left fucking eyes stay the same, and get even worse throughout the scene. 

I think Vecna’s in Mike and Will’s heads.

and i wouldn’t think that if I hadn’t seen that scary ass red thing like a month ago. Because it’s terrifying. And I hate it. And I hate this. And Vecna was using Mike to distract El so he could open the fourth gate. 

And thinking about Mike and Will lying in season four, to Suzie, to each other- and how it’s weird that Vecna didn’t mention Will or try and get to him at all during the season- and how they’ve been surounded with water, and Mike was wearing a shitty nock off of a brand that had some relation to water, and how that seven up can was there, and Will’s been acting weird but El just thought it was about a girl and we just thought it was about Mike, and how Mike obviously wasn’t doing well in Hawkins- and that’s just off the top of my head. 

And just how Jonathan’s looking at Mike here. He’s been keeping an eye on both of them. And the monologues always been a bit weird and out of place and made it really easy to hate Mike. And the fact that theres an oven behind Mike the whole time this is happening and the weird fire motif and the fact that Vecna was set on fire. 

And how the blue light only shines on Mike and Will’s side of the table when the red light appears. 

it’s just fucking weird guys.

And I really think it’s Vecna.

[hargrove-mayfields]

Autistic max? I’m all in -🦖

yes!! Max being on the spectrum is one of my favorite headcanons! Here’s a bit of my thoughts and hcs for you anon! <3

okay so first i wanna talk a little about where this hc came from! this idea was born in my head for a multitude of reasons, but the general summary is this:

-she misses a lot of social+emotional cues! she didn’t pick up on just how annoyed Mike was with her in the gym and kept pushing until El intervened, she didn’t detect any of Lucas’ panic or frustration when he was explaining the upside down to her until he touches her, and when el is jealous and just not interested in meeting her, she seems to be completely unfazed by that until she walks away. also every scene she has with Billy, he’s very shut off and she seems to be confused about what she’s expected to say, missing that he’s angry until he’s lashing out, and idk to me it just seems like she doesn’t really have a grasp on understanding others’ emotions!

-similarly, she only seems to react in the face of immediate danger, as if she’s a lot of the time unaware of how bad things truly are around her. like when she’s helping to find dart without even knowing what’s going on, driving a whole muscle car and going down into the tunnels without a hint of fear, seeming barely concerned when the mindflayer was about to drop through the ceiling. it’s almost like she has trouble fully processing the consequences of certain things, which could also explain why she sneaks out even though she probably knows what Neil is like and the fact that it could potentially put her in danger.

-the way she dresses just screams tactile sensitivity! she doesn’t ever wear anything flowy, any scratchy materials, and even at the snowball, where we see Susan fussing over her, she’s still dressed for comfort. what young girl with a mother clearly interested in making her pretty is going to get away with wearing jeans to a school dance if she doesn’t have sensory issues?

-also, whenever she gets upset she seems to shut down. like she almost never talks to Billy after he yells at her unless it’s necessary, when her and Lucas are talking on top of the bus it definitely seems like she’s struggling to voice her feelings or put words to her emotions, when Billy’s in the sauna, after he’s activated she starts turning in on herself, and after his death she’s just sitting in his room. like maybe she doesn’t really understand her own emotions that well either.

I’m not really viewing any of this as like, solid evidence or anything btw, these are just some things I’ve noticed about her as an autistic girl her age and living in a very similar situation that I think are neat and relatable!

onto the stuff I literally made up because I love her!

-Susan gives me autism mommy vibes. Like, making it her identity that she has a child with autism, and at times that can get super frustrating for Max because she hates being her mom’s little trophy daughter, gossiped about at all the potlucks so people feel sorry for her. Her absolute least favorite thing is “She’s such a handful.” and when Susan pulls the I’m so lonely because of taking care of you card to make her feel bad. Especially because she doesn’t feel very taken care of, once she’d hit a certain age her mother decided she’d be alright without all that “kid stuff” and basically tossed her into the world on her on. (hence why she’s Billys responsibility)

-In the 80s (and still now if we’re being entirely honest) it was very normal to just throw a casual r slur into conversation and it kills Max every time her friends say it, especially Mike because she thinks he’s being mean and doesn’t like her. She doesn’t know how to explain to them that that hurts her feelings because she doesn’t even know how to bring it up that she’s autistic. Billy tells her once to try to cheer her up that he could beat them up for her but she cries even harder because that’s what she doesn’t want, is for them to think she’s overreacting. He feels bad and tries to make up for it bringing it up with some of the moms of the group and asking that they tell their kids to stop using that word ever.

-In California she was in special ed classes, but Hawkins Middle deems that not necessary for someone of her “functioning level” (yuck) and she gets landed in coed instead. It might’ve been alright if that was how she started her education, but she was already used to classes of four or five kids like her, and she just cannot learn in that new environment. So she does really, really bad in school her first year in Hawkins. She feels kind of self conscious around her friends because they’re all so smart and her grades make her feel stupid even though it’s not her fault, and that’s why she kinda drifts towards being close with El because she struggles with learning things too.

-Smells are probably her worst overstimulation triggers. Things like cigarette smoke, fresh brewed coffee, her moms perfume, cooking and baking smells, the automatic air freshener thing, candles. Pretty much anything stronger than the smell of water is just overwhelming for her, especially if there’s something else already working her up, because then a whiff of something too strong can put her straight into a meltdown. Billy decides to quit smoking for her (he’ll never admit that, he’s adamant that it was because it was messing with his lung capacity and he’s trying to work out) and he also does things like buy Susan a new, less offensive perfume for her birthday and open windows to get stuffy air out of the house. They never really talk about what that does for her but like, that’s part of how they start getting closer, is when he starts making little accommodations for her like that.

-In addition to smells, there are very specific sounds she can’t stand. It’s not all loud noises, some of them like the rev of Billy’s car or a bass guitar at an outdoor amphitheater are some of her favorites, but the ones she doesn’t like, she really hates. Things like styrofoam, dishes hitting off of each other, something scratching against ice that builds up in the freezer, TV static, the toaster popping up or the oven beeping, and people who can’t chew with their mouths closed (looking at you Billy, keep that gum in your mouth please) all make her feel gross. She’ll try to physically shake off the way those sounds make her feel but sometimes they’re just too much and she shuts down for a while until she gets to hear something else. In that case usually really quiet music or someone talking to her quietly can reel her back in.

-Her interests vary a lot! The longest she’s ever held one special interest was a Miss Piggy phase! Susan liked that she was showing interest in a feminine character because of a lot of her si’s were tomboyish, but Max liked Piggy because she knew karate and punched people who laughed at her or tried to make her feel bad about herself! She has all sorts of Piggy collectibles, like toys, bed sheets, posters, books, mugs and watches! Otherwise her interests and fixations tend to come and go pretty quickly, like one week she could want to know everything there is to know about pro skaters, and the next she’s into the history of circuses! She liked cars for a little while and Billy was really excited to indulge in that and let her get familiar with the camaro, but she shifted to video games pretty soon after and he had to let it drop.

-Another interest that’s also pretty constant for her is nature! Not only for the sensory experience of it, listening to leaves rustle and birds chirp and water rush, but also all the knowledge about it. She can identify any type of flower, grass, tree, critter, or fungus! When she’s melting down and needs to be away from the house, she asks Billy to take her to the state park so she can just sit and be quiet and calm down on a fallen tree or a swing set somewhere. They do have some woods behind their house but she’s too afraid to venture out there and prefers to be out with her brother anyways.

-Stims! She’ll fiddle with zippers and buttons and loose threads constantly to the point that they buy her three or four of the same jackets and shirts for when she inevitably breaks them. She also chews on sleeves and hoodie strings a lot. Other tactile stims she favors are string tricks and braiding and tieing knots! Braiding her and Billy’s hair is something she’ll do anytime she needs to feel grounded, and she has a whole bunch of those little wooden boards that kids use to learn how to tie their shoes to tie knots with. She also always has a pocketful of yarn, and her favorite thing to make with them is a spider web or a star!

-Sort of related to her fascination with string is that her shoelaces never ever match, she has like a whole drawer in her room full of different ones to change them out! (and she has Miss Piggy Bow Biters to put on them!)

-She’s also a very verbal stimmer at times! Giggles for days with Max, if she’s excited, happy, nervous, whatever, she’s giggling. Humming and mimicking too, like if she hears a sound she likes she’ll try to make it, whether it be part of a song or something she hears outside. But if she is sad she’ll get as quiet as a mouse.

Idk these are just like my sort of canon compliant hcs I guess? Like what I feel would be true for her in the timeline and storyline of the show!

[skullrock]

the campers, chapter six

chapter five - the lost (and the found)

series summary: Steve gets a job as a camp counselor at Camp Know Where, intending on using the summer to discover himself. When things start to go wrong at camp, the only people that can help him are the Party, Hopper, and his mortal enemy - you. [Enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort]

chapter summary: Investigations into the disappearance of a camper ensue, while you and Steve confront your feelings. 

warnings: swearin’ and some loving caressing

word count: 4.8k 

a/n: you can catch up on the series here! romance and evil is in the air bbs

===

You wipe your tears away swiftly, instantly sobered at the reveal. “What?”

“Some kid,” Jen says. “He’s just… gone.”

You hop out of bed, anxiously tugging your shoes on. As you head outside, you notice all of the counselors booking it to the usual conference room. Steve’s made it there before you, a worried Mia gripping onto him. Your heart twists and you force your eyes away, towards the front, where Josh and a few other counselors are chatting hurriedly. Eventually, Josh claps once, the room going painfully silent.

“Today around five, a camper was reported missing by his friends. Brent Albright. He’s twelve, about four foot eight, skinny little thing. He was last seen playing in the woods about a hundred yards from campus.”

Steve stiffens. He knows Brent - and he knows the resemblance to Will Byers is uncanny. His mind wanders to when Will went missing, his stomach flipping.

“We have a search party going out as soon as the local law enforcement gets here. Some of you need to stay behind to keep watch of the other kids. We’re upping the security on site - we’ll have two people patrolling all night, each night. At least until we find Brent.”

The teams separate, you and Mia heading with the search party while Steve books it for Dustin’s cabin, scared of what he might find.

===

Luckily, by the time Steve gets to Dustin’s room, the rest of the Party is there, Suzie included. Steve halts at this, shutting the door slowly. His eyes dart between Suzie and Dustin pointedly.

“Relax, she knows,” Dustin says, very nonchalantly, everyone else seemingly on board with this.

Steve lets out a noise of frustration, surprise, and anger. “You told her?”

“When it was safe to!” Dustin defends.

Steve rests his hands on his hips, sighing in frustration and anger again. “Well, great. That’s really just great.”

Dustin’s face contorts in anger. “Uh -”

“Look,” Steve interjects, turning to Suzie. “You’re great - lovely gal, really - but I don’t -”

“What’s the problem?” Lucas pipes up.

Steve turns to him quickly. “Oh, of course you’re defending him, since you let Max in on the little secret, too -”

“Hey!” Max shouts, brows furrowed in anger.

“Don’t get so upset, you know you’re my favorite -”

“Hey,” El says.

“Alright - you too -” And Steve stops when he sees Will’s face, ghostly pale and frightened.

Steve and Mike are beside him first, Mike wrapping an arm around his shoulders while Steve kneels in front of him. “Hey, are you okay?”

He nods uncertainly. His hand slowly reaches for the back of his neck, and he shakes his head. “I don’t… feel him.”

“The Mind Flayer?” Mike clarifies.

“Yeah. I can’t feel him.”

The tension in the air evaporates slightly at this. Everyone had the same thought - what if it was the Upside Down again? It seemed to follow them everywhere, year after year. It wouldn’t be much of a shock if it had infiltrated their lives at camp.

“See? I told you it was nothing,” Lucas says. “It’s just some kid that got lost. I’m sure they’ll find him.”

Will winces slightly at the words and Steve frowns. “It’s not just some kid, Lucas. There’s… bears and shit out there. He’s lost and alone.”

Everyone goes quiet, staring down at the ground - well, everyone except Suzie, who’s still not completely sure if everyone is bullshitting her or not.

“Can you feel anything, El?” Mike asks.

She furrows her brows as if concentrating. “I can’t tell… I feel like something’s there, but I don’t know what.”

Steve stiffens, but the others seem unphased.

“That could mean anything,” Dustin says.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too convenient for this to be happening here?” Steve asks, annoyed.

“It really could be anything, though,” Max says slowly. “I mean, he really could have gotten lost in the woods. They can be tricky.”

Mike stares at her as if she’s an idiot, but Steve nods gently in response. “They’re not as bad as the ones at home, but they can be disorienting….”

“I don’t think we should worry unless something’s definitely wrong,” Lucas says. “Like, without a doubt, weird shit happening.”

Steve feels nauseous. “I just took a hike in the woods… something wasn’t right there.”

“What do you mean?” Will asks anxiously.

“It got so quiet,” Steve explains. “There wasn’t a sound. And a deer got so close to us… something just didn’t seem right.”

Everyone goes quiet again, contemplating.

“Well, it could have been a bear,” Suzie says, her high pitched voice piercing the silence. “I mean, animals get quiet to avoid predators, and there are definitely predators in the woods here.”

Steve gives a half-hearted shrug, and his eyes wander back to Will. He seems tense, his jaw locked, and Steve’s eyes meet his. At the look of fear and worry in his eyes, Steve stands, deciding to be the voice of reason. There’s no need to worry the kids when things may just be unfortunate, but not hellish.

“You know, you’re right,” he says, running a hand through his long hair. “It’s probably nothing. Brent really may have just gotten lost. Until we know, let’s assume it’s an accident, okay?”

Everyone nods reluctantly, shoulders falling and breaths exhaled. Will’s eyes soften, but he still looks unsure. Steve gives him a reassuring smile and squeezes his shoulder. Will tries to return the smile, but it’s weak - Steve’s heart hurts. As the kids begin to disperse and talk among themselves, Steve pulls Will to the side.

“Hey,” he says quietly. “I’m not letting anything hurt you, or anyone else.”

Will freezes slightly. “I - I know.”

Steve always had a hard time talking to Will, genuinely not knowing what to do or say or how to act around him. He’s been through so much that Steve views him like an ancient artifact, too fragile to touch and too experienced to match.

“Your friends have your back, too,” he adds, albeit awkwardly. “Just - don’t feel unsafe. We’ll all protect you.”

Will nods, relaxing slightly, and he does something he hasn’t done with Steve before - he holds out his hand to shake. Steve takes it, confused but intrigued. They simply shake hands, Will giving him a warm smile, and then he walks off to the rest of the party. Steve’s brows quirk but he smiles, feeling accomplished - and then his heart plummets again as the reality of the situation sets in.

He wishes he could spend the night with the Party, truthfully. He’s a bit jealous that Will and Mike have each other in a room. Steve has Nico, but he’s pretty sure Nico was wigged out when Steve woke him up with a shout the night he had a nightmare. Steve’s face burns in embarrassment just at the memory. Hopefully the search party would be out for a while; Steve always felt safer when others were awake, able to protect him as he let his guard down. And then his mind wanders to Mia, hoping she’s doing okay, and then to you.

Steve feels a bit lightheaded when he thinks of you. The time at the waterfall felt like days ago, but it was only a few hours. He feels guilt for not checking on you sooner, for not catching you before you went to scour the woods. And he remembers your reaction to his in the woods, how scared and anxious you seemed. The guilt pumps thickly through his veins and he sets a reminder to check on you in the morning - you were sure to have a long night.

Steve leaves the room as the Party continues to talk. He’s unable to even decipher the words they’re saying - he just wants to be in his little cot, curled up and safe under blankets. Dustin once again catches him as he’s leaving, though, grabbing Steve and forcing him to stop.

“What’s your problem?”

Steve opens his mouth to ask Dustin to elaborate, but remembers what he said about Suzie’s knowledge of the situation. His gaze hardens. “You shouldn’t be telling people about this. That’s putting your life in danger, and hers, too.”

“So I’m just supposed to act like nothing ever happened? I’m supposed to never tell her?”

Steve sighs. “That’s not what I’m saying -”

“That’s what it sounds like -”

Steve’s anger flares. “I’m saying that maybe you shouldn’t be giving life altering information to a girl you’ve been dating for what? Six months?”

“We’ve been dating for over a year, Steve!”

“You could get her and her family killed over this, Dustin -”

“Just because you won’t open up to people that love you doesn’t mean that I can’t!”

Steve stills, his anger deflating and replaced with sorrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, but he knows exactly what it means, and he doesn’t like being called out on it.

“You’ve avoided new friends this entire time because you refuse to have any type of meaningful conversations with anyone except those you share trauma with.” Dustin’s eyes are narrowed onto Steve, even though Steve attempts to look away. “Have you even told Mia?”

“Of course not,” Steve spits, anger coming back. “I’ve only been seeing her for like, a week -”

“Then what about Y/N?”

Steve scoffs, but he panics. “No.”

“Did you want to?”

“You don’t understand,” Steve stresses, forcing a change in subject. “You read what we had to sign. We aren’t supposed to tell people about this. Anyone! Not our parents or our partners -”

“I know what we signed!” Dustin interjects. “But there’s nothing wrong with telling someone you trust about this. And there’s definitely nothing wrong with opening up to people in general.”

“I’m not like you, Dustin.”

Dustin squints. “No shit.”

“So hop off my shit, okay?”

“Whatever,” Dustin huffs. “Just - go be alone, up on… up in your little King Steve palace -”

“Yeah? Fine, I will!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

Steve turns on his heel and sulks off into the dark, anxiety creeping in as the light from the cabin dims and is replaced with the steel curtain of night.

===

The search party finds nothing the first week.

It’s a gruesome task, sifting through the woods, finding no leads. Park Rangers and local law enforcement came in to set up an investigation. Rumors spread amongst the campers and counselors in regards to closing, but there were only two weeks left, and it was only one kid. Instead, a curfew was established, and counselors took turns patrolling the grounds in pairs at night.

It was, to say the least, a very stressful time. Your neck and back hurt from bending over in the woods for hours on end the first week, desperately trying to find any signs of the kid. You felt sick the entire week, hardly able to teach your classes, and hardly able to keep the kids’ attention. You noticed the stress was working hard on other’s, too - Steve and Mia had hardly talked, and you’d only briefly caught up with Steve. He had been spending most of the week patrolling the camp. He couldn’t sleep much even if he tried.

Friday, six days after the incident, things seemed to settle down. The camp had pretty much come to the conclusion that it was a freak accident, that the kid probably was attacked by a bear in the vicinity. Some kid’s parents had them leave early, and some came to hotels and motels nearby to be closer to their kids. One of these people was Jim Hopper, who volunteered to team up with local law enforcement to teach everyone about wilderness safety.

Steve knew why Hopper was really here, though - to keep an eye on Will and El. He’d promised Joyce he had it under control; he just wanted to take some precautions. Steve wasn’t sure if Hopper’s presence in the area was comforting or horrifying, but he figured it was the former. At least he didn’t have to be the only adult here. And the kids felt safer with him too, at least.

Friday night, a counselor proposed a bonfire to help everyone relax and unwind. You decided to go, if for nothing more than to just talk - it had been a lonely and tense week. You also, of course, hoped Steve would be there. You hardly caught a glimpse of him all week, only once out on the lake in his kayak.

When you do see him, you almost wish you hadn’t.

Steve hadn’t slept in at least four days. The last night he slept - Sunday, he thinks - had been filled with Demogorgons and gore and hopelessness. Calling Robin on the payphone only did so much (and he couldn’t reveal much over the phone), and while he and Dustin had reconciled, Steve didn’t want to overwhelm the kids with his worry. He wanted to be strong and brave for them, but he could hardly be that for himself. So he strolls up to the bonfire, looking ragged and ghastly, almost like a ghost. His frame is thin and he’s pale, his under eyes purple and puffy.

“Jesus Christ,” you breathe, walking up to him. “You look like Dracula.”

“He’s sexy, right?” he jokes, a weak smile on his face.

You blush and roll your eyes, still frowning with worry. “Have you slept?”

He shakes his head gently. “Haven’t really got the chance.”

Your brows quirk. “Haven’t got the chance, or haven’t let yourself?”

Steve’s impressed with how easily you see through his bullshit. He shrugs. “Maybe both.”

You guide him to sit with you on a long log by the fire. You have to force yourself to not hold him, but it’s very difficult. You were so worried about him, about his zombie-like appearance. But you didn’t want to pass any boundaries - you weren’t totally sure if he was still with Mia or not.

Almost like he read your mind, Steve speaks up. “Mia is patrolling tonight.”

“Oh.” It’s all you can say. You want to ask if he’s seen her, if they’re still a thing, if you have a chance, but you instead focus on the fire.

The night goes on, and you talk with some of the other counselors. Conversation is light but weary, and the alcohol two boys had snuck in was gone within the first thirty minutes. You turn to ask Steve if he wants a drink, but you’re met with his head resting on your shoulder. You didn’t even notice that he’d clocked out, and your brows furrow while your stomach fills with butterflies.

You contemplate whether or not you should wake him up - he obviously needed the rest. You let him stay there, continuing to mingle, but staying perfectly still so that he didn’t wake up.

Steve’s eyes finally open around midnight, as the fire is taming down. He sits up and looks around, dazed and confused, before realizing that you’re beside him. He blinks in surprise. “Did I fall asleep?”

“Yeah,” you say. “I didn’t want to wake you up, so I….”

He stretches, his shirt riding up his stomach, revealing a sliver of skin. You pull your eyes back to the burning embers.

“You must be like a sleeping pill or something,” he says, voice slurring from sleep. “Really knocked me out.”

Your lips quirk up. “Maybe I’m just boring.”

Steve knows it’s not because you’re boring; it’s because he’s comfortable with you. The moment he sat down beside you, he felt safe and protected. It allowed him to let his guard down just long enough to slip into a dreamless sleep, and that’s really all he could ever ask for.

He doesn’t vocalize this, though. He doesn’t know how to. “No, not boring. Just warm.”

It makes no sense and perfect sense at the same time. You blush and look down, wishing he was still leaning on you. Steve scoots away from you and you frown, the absence feeling like you’ve lost something.

“Hey,” you whisper. “Want me to walk you back to your cabin?”

He nods slowly, sleep clouding his vision. You stand and he grabs your hand, using it to help him get up. You laugh slightly and start walking him towards his cabin, staying close beside him. Something about him made you feel safe - whether it was your crush on him or just Steve, you weren’t sure.

“This sucks,” he says, breaking the silence.

“Yeah.”

“I mean, it all sucks,” he clarifies, “but I mean that it sucks that I know I can’t sleep tonight, and they won’t let me do rounds anymore.”

“That’s because you need sleep,” you say gently. “You have to rest.”

“But I can’t.” His tone almost sounds like he’s amused. Steve looks off into the distance, at the treeline, sinister in the night. “God, trauma sucks.”

You don’t know what to say to make it better, so you snake your hand down to his, lacing your fingers again. Steve hums and relaxes, his shoulders dropping and his pace slowing. It’s almost an enjoyable walk, just the two of you in silence, nothing else but the wind and the lake lapping the shore behind you.

You slow as you reach his cabin, and Steve becomes stiff once again. His brows furrow with worry, and you notice.

“You’re safe,” you whisper.

He shakes his head, frowning. “I know….”

Steve turns to face you then, and you both stand like this, facing each other, faces illuminated by the moonlight. You think he looks so pretty, so beautiful, even with the bags under his eyes. You wish he’d kiss you, embrace you and tell you that you mean something to him.

And Steve, in his sleep deprived state, also begins to realize just how pretty you are, too. It’s something he’s always known, even when he was a jerk. Something fond to think about, at least one beautiful thing from his youth. His brows twitch as he looks down at you, at your soft eyes, the care and adoration held within them.

Steve’s realization doesn’t hit him quite the same as yours did. It’s almost like a slow rush, like finishing a puzzle. Dots begin to connect, memories come back, and he realizes that, holy shit, he likes you. He likes you a lot. He’s liked you for years. The good things he’s remembered - they were because of his affection for you. That’s why he remembers your laugh and your pigtails and your blue beaded bracelet. That’s why he forced away the icky, dirty things.

Because he liked you. And he always has.

While he’s processing this, you’ve formed a bit of a plan. You’re nervous to ask, but you do anyway. “What if you spent the night with me?”

Steve’s long streak of thoughts comes to a halt, crashing, his mind left blank. His brows knit together. “What?”

You blush and step back, almost like you’re stepping back behind a boundary. “I just - you slept so well earlier - maybe if we were together… we’d sleep better?”

Steve blinks. “Oh.”

“Forget -”

“No, let’s do it,” he whispers, rushedly. “I… I think that’s a good idea.”

Steve sees the adoration and care in your eyes, but he can’t imagine it has any weight to it. You never let on that you liked him. So this situation is almost a win-win for him; he can pretend for one night that the universe is in place and not out to get him, and he can get some rest.

“Are you sure?” you ask, barely audible.

He nods. “I’d really like some sleep.”

“Jen’s patrolling tonight,” you whisper. “I can - we can - sneak you in.”

Steve smiles lazily. “I’ve always said I’m like a ninja.”

===

Sharing a bed with your crush is not as phenomenal as the movies make it out to be.

Steve’s pressed himself up against the wall, as far away from you as the twin bed would allow him to be. You lay on your back, eyes wide. It’s an awkward situation, and you nearly regret suggesting it. You lay like this for twenty minutes, then forty, and then it’s two a.m, and you can still hear Steve’s rapid breathing beside you.

“Steve,” you whisper.

“Hmm?”

You blink up at the ceiling while cursing yourself. Your hands ball into fists beside you and you finally croak, “You can come closer.”

You hear his breath hitch. “I… I’ll smother you.”

You roll your eyes. “C’mon, Steve.”

It’s a minute before he rolls over, facing you, his body touching yours. You both feel like a jolt of electricity has been shot through you, and you wince before melting into each other.

You will yourself to stay on your back. Even while you can feel Steve’s warm brown eyes on your temple. You can feel his warm torso on your arm, too, the skin of his forearm close to the side of your head. Temptation wins, though, and you roll over to face him.

Your breath catches, like you’ve been hit by something massive. Steve looks so peaceful here. You take the time to notice some things you hadn’t before, since you’d never been this close. The stray hairs under his brows, how long his lashes are. How pink his lips are, how straight his nose is. You notice a scar on his right brow and reach out to touch it gently with your fingertips. “What’s this?”

“Scar,” he whispers.

“What happened?”

Steve swallows hard and shakes his head. “You should see the rest of them.”

You frown and drop your hand, but Steve gently picks it back up, placing it on his cheek. He looks at you softly, asking for permission, and you cup his cheek. Your thumb rubs across his cheekbone and his eyes flutter shut. Your heartbeat is through the roof, and it only gets worse when Steve reaches out to pull you in to him. You blush, both from attraction and embarrassment, because he can surely feel your heart beating rapidly against his chest.

“Where else?” you ask, voice shaking.

His brow quirks. “Hm?”

“Where else are there scars?”

He pauses, contemplating, but remembers but Dustin had told him. There’s nothing wrong with opening up to people. So he lifts his right hand, where it had punched Billy Hargrove years earlier, a cut on his knuckle turning into a silver stripe. You pull your fingers away from his cheek and to the scar, touching it gently. You want to kiss it - God, you want to kiss it so much - but you pull your lips into a thin line instead.

Steve drops his hand and it goes for his shirt, his fingertips rubbing gently over his ribs. “Here.”

You wonder what the hell had happened to him. You don’t ask; instead, you move your hand slowly to the hem of his shirt. You look at him and he nods, giving you permission to run the pads of your fingers to the area. His eyes flutter shut again and he focuses in on the feeling of your fingers, caressing him gently, almost lovingly. It feels nice to let someone touch him like this. Not sexual, not even romantic - just with care.

You lick your lips and feel his skin, soft and warm, a little uneven in the area where he’d been brutalized the year before. Steve opens his eyes to watch your face before his eyes trail down to your arm, pushed up under his shirt. His heart speeds up and you can feel it, hard and fast under your fingertips. You pull away at that, blushing once more, your heart rate beating in time with his.

Steve’s tongue darts out and he studies your expression. You look peaceful. Maybe a bit confused, but peaceful. In place. His hand reaches up to his lip slowly, another place that he’d been hit before. His finger lays lightly on a small scar that spreads from the corner of his bottom lip and down. He stares at you the entire time, almost painfully, like he has something he wants to say. You only reach out and replace his finger, rubbing the small mark gently.

You want to ask him what you’re both doing. It’s a weird dance, almost. It’s laced in something beyond friendship and sealed with a bow, but what it is, you’re not sure. Your hand moves away from his face and you finally look down. Your eyes stay focused on his grey shirt, at the pattern of the fabric.

“I have a hell of a concussion, too,” Steve whispers.

You look back up at him and smile. “Maybe that’s why you’ve forgotten so much.”

He frowns slightly. “Maybe.” He pauses for a beat. “Do you have any?”

“Scars?”

He nods.

You reach for his hand and pull it down towards your knee, to the scar you’d shown him at the waterfall. His fingertips press into it gently, and there’s a pained look on his face. “I wish I could take it away.”

You frown. “You can’t.”

“Wish I could.”

You wish so, too. But his fingers rubbing soothingly on it almost takes it away; if not physically, than emotionally.

Steve’s hand wanders up your thigh and to your hip, gripping it just slightly. He almost looks like he’s pouting at you, and you’re not sure what it means. You just know you like the touch. You know you want to kiss him, and you know you can’t. It feels like you’re drowning, or intoxicated at the feeling of his hand on you, soft and strong, just as it always felt in yours.

“Hey,” you say. “You should get some sleep.”

His hand falls from your body and onto the sheets. He nods and his brows furrow for just a millisecond. “I… can you….” He clears his throat. “Can you stay close to me?”

You think it’s funny that he can’t say hold me, but you relent. You wrap your arms around him and he melts into you once again, feeling safe. It’s only a few moments later when you both fall asleep.

===

Steve sneaks out before the sun rises, leaving the bed beside you empty and cold. You’re sober this morning. You’re pretty sure you should not have shared a bed with him, or touched him - is that considered cheating? Are you an asshole? You reckon you’ll find out.

You officially get up a few hours later, pulling on your uniform lazily. Your stomach flips at the thought of Steve, and then flips again when you open your door to find Mia.

You know immediately that she knows. She must have seen him leaving when she was patrolling.

“Mia….” It’s all you can manage to croak out.

She laughs, warm and gentle. “I’m not mad.”

You blink. You lick your lips and shake your head, massively confused. “Are we thinking of the same thing?”

She comes into your room and you shut the door slowly, still quite confused. She sits on the bed and looks up at you. She looks wise and all-knowing. “I knew you had a thing for him.”

“I didn’t,” you protest.

She tilts her head. “C’mon. Remember when I saw you staring at him on the lake?”

You sigh and cross your arms. “I didn’t think I did.”

“We all knew,” Mia says matter-of-factly. “Everyone except you.”

You scoff. “Who’s everyone?”

“Em, Syl, Jen, Brooke, Syd, Kara… even Josh knew. Why do you think he set you up at the beginning?”

“What?” you ask, shocked. “I wasn’t - I never - I never liked him at the beginning -”

“Maybe not,” Mia smiles. “I guess he really just saw the potential.”

You roll your eyes and Mia beckons you to sit down beside her. She wraps an arm around you and leans into you. “I just wanted to see him for fun, you know. See if he was a good kisser. It wasn’t anything serious.”

“So you’re not mad?”

She sighs. “I’ll miss that boy’s lips and hands, but I’m not mad. We would have called it quits when camp was over. It was just a fling.”

You both sit in silence for a few moments before she speaks again. “You should really go for it.”

Your heart jumps to your throat. “I don’t think….”

“He likes you, too,” she says. “I’m pretty sure of it.”

You look at her with a frown. “I couldn’t do that to you.”

She smiles. “I’m just happy I was right. You do like him.”

You can’t help but to smile back. “Were there bets going?”

“Oh, yeah,” she says. “Brooke owes me ten dollars because she thought you’d never actually admit it. But I knew you would.”

You hug her then, relief flowing through you. Then you pull away and shove her. “I can’t believe you placed bets -”

The door swings open and Jen is there again, panting once more, eyes filled with fear. You and Mia jump up.

“Did you find him?” you breathe.

Jen shakes her head. “No. Another camper is missing.”

===

taglist (join here!): @troop-scoop​ @therealestdookie @jasontoddisfantastical​ @mybestfriendthedingus​ @anonymousonion23​ @darth-el​ @unknownherelm​ @random-thoughts-003​ @metuel18​ @dark-academics-and-florals​ @magicstrengthandcourage​ @mathchampagne​ @magnitude101999​ @yall-wildin-like-siriusly​ @sunshine-and-riverwater​ @dark-academics-and-florals​ @scooprtroopr​ @heart-eye-harrington​ @sourapplebaby​ @comedy-witch​ @mochminnie​ @thatkidofwarandpeace​ @lukeskisses​ @ssanjuniperoo​ @harrington-ofhawkins​ @write-from-the-heart​ @yazmin626​ @charmedtenderness​ @anotherr-fine-mess​ @elusive-cryptid​ @dungeons-and-demodogs​ @superstarchick​ @strangest-hour​ @whataloadofmalarkey​ @whimsicalwoodlands​ @stevexscoops​

[when-to-sit-in-silence]

How does Joyce care for a age regressed teenager like El? Especially one with superpowers and trauma. Helping her with school, social norms, bullying ect.

Never understood this one as well, like HOW would they care for her. If Joyce will do a word of the day. And have the patience with three kids. One having superpowers.

Joyce is extremely patient with El. We all know Hopper means well, but one of the reasons El’s relationship with Joyce is so vital is because her father often struggles to be properly communicative of his feelings, and El is also still learning. Joyce is amazing at facilitating tense conversations between father and daughter, pacing them slowly so that Hopper doesn’t lose his temper and El has the chance to express herself at her comfort. 

One thing that works very well is having El write out her feelings when she’s upset so she doesn’t feel put on the spot, the same way Hopper’s letter was the means through which he could effectively explain his concerns about her and Mike’s relationship in Season 3. Joyce also buys her a diary so El has a place to journal her private thoughts as well. 

Joyce is always transparent with Eleven when she asks sensitive or uncomfortable questions. She isn’t dismissive. She doesn’t sugar coat. She’s very calm and honest, respectful of El’s emotional intellect. Joyce knows Eleven has been through more than any child should ever have to endure. Infantilizing her won’t help any situation.

When Eleven does start school, she has a lot of trouble keeping up with homework. But Joyce works with El’s natural tenacity to encourage her to keep focused. Will is also a big help here. Soon enough, Joyce doesn’t have to worry about it, because El forms her own schedule and makes a habit of going to Will whenever she gets stuck. 

It all takes a lot of patience, but Joyce is excellent and El trusts and respects her deeply. 

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Do you think it's possible that Byler and everything we see is accidental and was never intended? That's a fear of mine, because you can always kind of explain it like "Mike and Will are (just) best friends who love each other very much". Like if romantic Byler wasn't planned and if they were only meant to have a strong affectionate friendship, what exactly would be different? I'm scared that everything is just coincidences/apophenia.. Maybe we just see what we know/wanna see (as lgbtq people)

Possible? Sure. Anything is possible. It’s possible I’ll win the lottery. It’s possible I’ll be in a car accident. What matters is whether it is probable. And I can’t see it being probable that this is all accidental. Not with these writers and the attention to detail they possess.

We’ve now had three seasons where Mike and Will’s relationship has played a major role. We’ve seen how Mike treats Will differently than he treats his other friends. We don’t see him being affectionate with any of the others. The closest comparison is, well, how he treats El. Even then I’d argue Will still wins out. Mike fights to find Will, whereas he just assumes El is dead. Mike stays by Will’s side, but still trusts him, while he tries to shelter El away and accuses her of spying. Mike chases after Will into the rain to apologize after they fight, while he gets annoyed and mopes around when El breaks up with him. When you think about it, Mike shows all of the emotional love to Will, while giving the physical love to El. It’s a curious situation, and I’ve speculated before that Mike sees El as a safe outlet for his feelings for Will. 

This doesn’t even bring up the fact that Will is explicitly bullied for his perceived homosexuality. There’s little point to this, considering other things he could be bullied for, if it wasn’t going to be an issue. Joyce even makes it a point to mention it to Hopper. Then we know from the script that Will was watching Mike as he danced at the Snowball. Add this to Will glancing over at Mike when the girl asked him to dance in the first place, and Mike’s confused and upset look when Will actually goes, and we see two boys who like each other each thinking the other is straight. 

They’ve had three seasons now to fix this if it wasn’t intended. It’s not like they don’t know there’s a fanbase that is reading romantic undertones from Mike and Will. And I doubt they want to be caught holding a queerbait ball when it’s all over, so if it wasn’t intended, they would have put a kibosh to it. Apophenia is a fair thing to bring up, especially since Mr. Clark specifically talked about it. But keep in mind, Joyce ended up being right even when people thought she was crazy. Was that a subtle nod to Stranger Things fans who are reading beneath the surface? I don’t know, but it could have been.

Keep the faith. If we’re wrong, we’re wrong, but it won’t be because we were delusional. The signs are all there, and the Duffers and other writers know very well what people are seeing. It’s been shown as the strongest relationship on the show thus far. Something like this wouldn’t have developed smoothly, particularly in the 80s, so I’m happy it’s getting a good build. 

[stevesnailbat]

Heyyy dude I was reading your stories and can I just say wow your so good! I was wondering if you could do a hate-hate relationship with Steve x reader (just an example) reader or Steve you can choose says if your weren’t such a bitch/asshole I would totally date you and likeee smut after 🤍✨

warnings: smut, Steve being kinda cocky/mean but not really

word count: 2.5K

The knock on her bedroom door was so soft she almost didn’t hear it, but she knew for sure that it wasn’t her dad. Hop wouldn’t knock anyway, he’d just barge in if he needed her.

“You can come in, El.” she called out as she closed the book in front of her, knowing she was going to have to take her somewhere.

El walked in, smiling over at her sister meekly as she made her way over to the bed. She sat down on the edge, staring at her hands that rested in her lap.

“What’s up?” Y/N asked, turning to face El. “You need me to take you somewhere?”

“Mike asked me to come to his house.” El said bluntly, still staring at her hands.

Y/N sighed slightly at her words, dreading the next part of the conversation. If he wasn’t there to do it, Hopper made Y/N give El the parental spiel when she’d ask to go to Mike’s. Y/N knew he meant well, but it sucked for her because it was an awkwardly painful experience for her and El; although, witnessing Hop trying to give the spiel would have been even more painful.

“Alright, I hate this part as much as you do, but I have to ask all of these so Dad doesn’t rip both of our heads off.” she chuckled as she reached for her sister’s hand, making El smile slightly. “Are his parents going to be there and is it just gonna be you and him?”

“His mom is home. The party is playing D&D in the basement now.” El replied, already knowing exactly what Y/N had to hear from her.

“Okay, sounds pretty convincing to me.” she laughed, halfway surprised at El’s quick response as she stood up from her chair to slip on some shoes. “Let’s go, I guess. I’ll tell Dad later.”

As they drove to the Wheeler house, El talked about Mike and what they did that week for the majority of the trip. It was nice to see her little sister finally having some happiness in her life, even if it meant that she had to take her everywhere all the time. Y/N didn’t complain, though. It was hard to say no to the girl and it was even harder to stay in the house when El was upset about not going and Hop was upset about her annoyance.

“They invited you too.” El said as they pulled up to Mike’s house, smiling over at Y/N hopefully. “If you want to stay.”

Like said before, it was hard for Y/N to say no to El. So, she followed El into the basement to see the party gathered around a table while Steve Harrington stood next to Dustin, trying to figure out what was happening while Max explained something to him. Y/N rolled her eyes when she saw the brown-eyed boy, immediate annoyance rising in her chest.

“El! Y/N! Come join, we were just showing Steve how to play so we can show you too!” Dustin exclaimed, motioning for them to come to the table.

Y/N hesitated momentarily, not even wanting to talk to or be next to Steve. Neither of them were really sure why, but they hated each other. She thought he was an entitled ass, he thought she was just plain mean. She caught him glaring at her slightly when she walked in, but she ignored it. As much as she didn’t want to, she stayed anyways, she knew El really wanted her to be there. So, she walked to the table, watching eyes wide as Dustin immediately started telling her what he was doing and what he would do next.

Neither of them would ever admit it, but there was something more than hate between them. Maybe it was love, maybe admiration or maybe just pure lust.

The next hour or so was fine, neither of them said much to each other and listened to what everyone was saying without a word. That was, until Max tried to tell Steve to work with Y/N instead of her for a while. They argued the whole time, never letting the other one finish a full sentence or suggestion. It was amusing to everyone else in the room, but neither of them were happy about the situation.

“You guys would be a cute couple, you know. You’re already bickering like you’ve been married for twenty years.” Max laughed matter-of-factly after they finished the extremely short campaign, making Steve laugh and shake his head in denial.

“You know, maybe I would date you, Harrington. You’ve got the good looks, the nice smile, nice hair. But, you’re an asshole, to me at least.” Y/N said truthfully as she slightly cringed at her own words, narrowing her eyes as she spoke and felt the room go silent. “So if you weren’t such an asshole, maybe then I’d date you.”

“Oh I’m the asshole? I think you should take a look in the mirror before you say that again and you’ll see the true asshole.” he scoffed, rolling his eyes as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Would you two shut up? You’re both assholes, okay?” Mike snapped, making El laugh as she clung onto his arm.

The two of them rolled their eyes and stayed silent for the rest of the time in the basement, not wanting to annoy the kids too much with their arguing. They knew they were being childish, but they didn’t want the other to win the fight.

Y/N took El home, avoiding the conversation about Steve with her by asking about Mike again on the way home. It was around midnight when Y/N heard a knock on her window, making her jump slightly in her seat at her desk. She made her way over to the window cautiously, holding a pair of scissors to protect herself in case it was someone trying to murder her or something ridiculous. The person on the other side was even more shocking than an intruder, Steve Harrington.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she whispered while opening her window quietly, not letting him come inside yet by blocking the majority of the window.

“I want to talk to you about earlier. Can I just come in, please?” he asked, his tone serious this time.

“No! You were an asshole earlier and I don’t wanna talk to you about anything.” she said crossly, glaring at him from inside.

“I deserve a chance to talk and explain myself. Please? If you say no, I’m coming in anyways.” he replied, watching her shake her head again. “Alright, I’ll just climb over and around you then.”

And he did just that; he climbed through the window by grabbing on to the corner of her desk for leverage, eventually grabbing her waist because she was the closest thing he could balance on. Her breath hitched as he touched her, goosebumps erupting on her skin as butterflies filled her stomach. That first touch sent sparks through her body and was when she realized how badly she wanted him, how badly she needed his touch. Maybe the sexual tension between them was the root of their issues?

“This is illegal, you know. And my dad is literally the chief of police and is sleeping in the room over.” she sneered as she crossed her arms, ignoring the feeling she got from his simple touch on her skin. “And how do you know where I live?”

“I’ve picked El up from here plenty of times. But you aren’t actually going to tell him, I know that.” Steve replied bluntly, smirking at her as he finally stepped all the way into the room. “Anyways. I wanted to talk to you about today.”

“About what? The part where I called you an asshole or the part where you actually were an asshole?” she replied. “Or are you here to call me an asshole again?”

“Yes—I mean no! I’m not here to call you an asshole again, I’m—I’m sorry I did that.” he replied, his tone more sincere as he spoke this time. “I was just annoyed, I guess?”

“About what?” she replied, furrowing her brow as she watched the boy struggle with his own thoughts.

“I don’t know! I’m so fucking conflicted about you.” he confessed, stepping a bit closer to her. “I want to hate you but I fucking can’t because of the things that run through my mind when I see you.”

“What kind of things, Harrington?” she implored, raising her eyebrows as an amused smirk spread on her lips, as if she knew exactly what he was talking about already.

“Things like the fact that I want to this to you every time I see you.” he said, inching closer to her before smashing his lips against hers in a forceful kiss.

There was a weight that seemed to lift off her shoulders as he kissed her first, a low whimper escaping her lips. Her hands went to his hair as he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him than she thought was possible. After a moment of passion, she came to her senses and pulled away from the kiss to look at him with wide eyes. She caught her breath for a moment, trying to form a coherent thought through the haze that her mind was in.

“What the hell, Harrington.” she said softly, reaching up to touch her lips as if she didn’t believe what just happened. “Why are you here? To tell me you hate me or to fuck me?”

“I don’t even know why I’m here, but that felt like the right thing to do.” he stated, staring at her as she touched her lips; he was just trying to figure out if what he was feeling was lust or something more than that.

She tried to talk herself out of it quickly, but she couldn’t help the way she was feeling. So, she did the same to him. Her lips pressed against his and she tugged at his shirt, pulling him down on the bed behind her. He climbed on top of her as she led him down, moving his lips from hers to trail along her neck. She moaned as she felt him grind against her slightly, biting her lip quickly once she was pulled back to reality.

“I’m gonna need you to be quiet if we do this, okay? Can’t have the Chief coming in here, can we, sweetheart?” Steve said, a cocky smirk on his lips as his assertive side showed.

“Fuck you, Harrington.” she replied, rolling her eyes at his cockiness.

“Isn’t that the point?” he chuckled while his hands worked at getting her t-shirt off.

It didn’t take long for their clothes to be in a pile on the floor next to her bed, their lips never leaving each other’s as they stripped. He pulled away after hearing her gasp in response to him gripping the hem of her panties. His eyes were blown out with a lustful stare as he peered down at her, as if he was waiting for her to say something.

“Yes?” she said, growing impatient with his stilled movements.

“Do you want this?” he asked, his voice filled with genuine concern as he spoke.

“Yes. God yes.” she said, unable to hide her desperate tone behind her usual witty attitude as she reached for the waistband of his boxers. “Do you have a condom?”

He nodded quickly, reaching for his wallet that was in his jeans on the floor. His hands were shaky as he fumbled through the wallet, as if he couldn’t find it. An impatient whine came from her lips as she grabbed the wallet from his grasp while rolling her eyes. She pulled the condom from it’s spot and tugged the foil open with her teeth, maintaining eye contact with the desperate boy above her the whole time.

He watched as she stripped his boxers from his waist, eyes going wide in surprise at what was underneath. He couldn’t help but chuckle at her surprise and she rolled her eyes, mumbling something about how cocky he was as she rolled the condom onto his length. After she finished, Steve slid his hand between them to pull her panties off. He slid a finger across her core, making her gasp.

“No fucking around right now, Harrington.” she said, trying to sound cocky to match his attitude. “Just fuck me now.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m getting there, be patient.” he replied bluntly, making her eyebrows quirk up as he lined himself up with her entrance.

A few moments passed before she felt him sink into her, a yelp of pleasure escaping her lips when she felt him bottom out. His lips crashed against hers in an effort to keep her quiet as he quickened his pace. Her nails dug into his shoulder, moaning quietly into the kiss while trying to keep her hips in rhythm with his. He pulled away from the kiss to look down at her, a new feeling washing over him as he did. She locked eyes with him, seemingly feeling the same thing. Neither of them knew what it was, and they knew it wasn’t the time to talk about it.

“I’m gonna need you to keep going, Steve.” she coaxed jokingly, noticing his halted movements as he was lost in thought.

“Right, my bad.” he replied, a smirk appearing on his face as he started again at a quick pace.

She bit her lip to stifle a moan while locking eyes with him, still scraping her nails along his shoulder gently. Steve chuckled to himself as a shiver traveled down his spine from her touch, trying not to get lost in her touch. To distract himself, he slid his hand between them and gently began to rub her clit.

“F—Fuck, if you keep that up, I’m gonna cum soon.” she whimpered softly, arching her back in response to his touch.

“That’s the whole point, right?” he said with a smirk, rubbing his fingers with more intensity and intention as his thrusts sped up.

Before she knew it, she felt her body begin to tense up as an orgasm washed over her. Steve buried his face in the crook of her neck as his thrusts slowed, reaching his climax as she reached hers. After coming down from their highs, the two of them laid together, panting tiredly as they did. Neither of them really knew what to say, mainly because neither of them knew what they felt.

“Does this mean you still think I’m an asshole?” Steve asked, a genuine smile on his face as he peered over at her.

“We’ll see about that, I haven’t made up my mind yet, Harrington.” she giggled, rolling her eyes at his question. “On second thought, maybe I don’t hate you anymore. I’m just not sure if I like you or not yet.”

[galaxyshine24-7]

Things I didn't like about Stranger Things Season 3

Now don't get me wrong I love Stranger Things. Its been such a fun ride and inspired me with its 80's feel and DnD vibe. I adored it and still do, I'm so excited for season 4 and can't wait to see the gang again. However when season 3 came out and I watched it certain things didn't sit well with me. So I guess I'm just getting them off my chest. Now reminder these are my opinions if you think something different that is completely fine. I'm just venting at this point and might view things differently from others. So read on if you want.

Spoilers Ahead

Relationships

My biggest struggle watching this season was how they handled relationships. Either how they where handled, or how they weren't handled, or things I see people overlook when it comes to them that should be addressed. So I shall go down the line on what I didn't like and analyze them.

Nancy and Johnathan

Over the seasons I have fallen in love with Nancy's character. I like how the show played into stereotypical 80's tropes. Nancy was the mean older sister, but soon turned into a badass sharp shooter. In this season her character wavered for me a bit. I still love her don't get me wrong, but I was upset a bit how she handled her and Johnathan's situation at the job.

I felt like neither Nancy or Johnathan really talked about how the other made them feel or really get that they understood anyone's plight with the dialogue we where given.

With Nancy is wanting to get on the case and find out what is happening. She wanted to shut up those rude assholes in her office and I applaud her for that. However during that time I don't think she was truly listening to Johnathan's concerns. Now say what you want about Johnathan, I do feel like at the end of the day that he loves and cares for Nancy and will back her up when he can, but in this case we the audience see him become frustrated when he gets fired from a job he really needs to support his family. Now mind you Johnathan had a bad time at the job too, but him being made fun of is something he has grown a thick skin too has seen in previous seasons. He explains to Nancy that his family doesn't come from much money. Honestly him and Will have the lowest income in the friend group compared to the other kids and to me watching them struggle through the seasons compared to the other kids homes. With Nancy she was going off to college and wouldn't need this job for long with how accomplished she is between the high schoolers we know she is probably the only one with plans on going to college. I was a bit upset she didn't consider Johnathan's emotions and situation beforehand discovering what was going one with the rats.

Now Johnathan isn't innocent either he should have been more compassionate with her problems since this was something she wasn't used too getting in a work place. He should have talked to her more and communicated, heck maybe try to find a different job together. With Nancy she admits to her mom how she was unfair to Johnathan. When she then meets him again they didn't have that dialogue with each other at all, instead a few quick lines that left me in a weird place. It felt unfinished and I was not convinced either really talked through it. It felt unfinished and left a weird taste in my mouth in regards with the two. All and all I just wish it was handled better, but I can say that about most things on this list.

Max and Eleven

Now when these two started hanging out I was excited I think their cute and I'm glade El got a friend who is a girl. Its fun to see them talk to each other and bond going on adventures, however I started to raise a brow at Max's behavior and advice. Now side note I know they are children and they are not going to be right about things like relationships all the time. I get that I really do, however I'm still pissed she gave El terrible advice, and I don't think she was fully held accountable for her and El spying on people which is not okay powers or not. I'm glade they started to find about about Billy, but they weren't looking for that and stumbled upon it from spying on others. Its just something they shouldn't do in general to be honest.

Max supports and cares about El I just believe she wasn't the greatest of friends in terms of relationship advice and how she acted towards Mike and the others. Max was projecting her experience with relationships onto El's and Mike's and it did not end well at all. It was up to El at the end of the day to make her own decisions and speak to Mike to fully understand the situation and talk to each other. I understand why people praise and love the relationship, but also don't see its faults or the problems it had. When I found out Max and Lucas break up every other week I was like "are you serious, and you went around giving El advice, and didn't see anything wrong with that?!" I don't think Max ever talked to El about it or El talk to Max more about it, and then there's the whole thing with Mike that I can talk about later.

I just feel like Max wasn't solely positive in her and El's relationship, and I wished El tried to find answers on her own instead of listening to everyone.

(P.S. When Max showed El Wonder Women which is nice. Max makes a comment when El points out Wonder Women and she said. "This is why you can't hang out with Mike all the time." I first I was like okay, showing El a female superhero is cool. However I got to thinking Wonder Women and El don't have much in common besides being women. Mike gave her Grand Master Yoda and he has more in common with El then Wonder Women does. In terms of powers and such Yoda fits more with El, and El is the wisest and level headed out of most of the kids in my opinion. I'm upset at the writers when they seem to forgot Mike gave her a hero more like her in what she can do and who she is. They should've chose someone like Jean Grey who uses her mind and is a red head like Max, it would've made more sense. She appeared in 1963 so Jean would have fit. Also maybe Mike showed her Yoda and thought more about what he does and says that reminds him of El then thinking about what gender she was. Just a thought I guess.)

The Friends Group

Now with age I understand relationships change and mature esxpecliy through friends. This is shown with Lucas and Mike wanting to hang out girlfriends and Dustin having his own thing with Steve. I can see why the writers did this to have different storylines going on but it was weird. You would think after all they been through, they wouldn't get has distanced as they did. It didn't feel like the group was whole and then at the end of the day Will moves. Mike and Lucas where distracted by their own relationships which I can understand, but the whole argument with Mike and Will was strange. You have these kids who fought tooth and nail to get Will back and they can barely give him the time of day?! I get you have girlfriends and such, but come on. It seemed out of character for this group after so much they went through together and to get Will back. The argument with Will and Mike was heartfelt and you could feel Will's plight and Mike's, I guess I was just upset out how distant it was, and how the kids just brushed each other off for their own drama when we've seen many times that they don't do that to this degree.

Characters

There where many characters I either had problems with how they where written or felt like there could've been more.

Mike

Mike's character I feel like was shit on a lot in this season from characters and some of the fanbase. Now I will say upfront that I like Mike, heck I like most of the characters in this show. They got faults and positives that I can see and understand. This season with Mike I feel like his character didn't get the understanding from the other seasons. He's either the bad guy, or the grumpy kid who brushes off all his friends for El. Mike is shown growing his relationship with El and trying his best to be a good boyfriend and protect her. It upsets me when people don't look at the all aspects of a character and see their flaws and good traits. With Mike we have seen this kid put his fucking life on the line for his friends and become distraught when he loses El someone he loves dearly. Its understandable why he is a grumpy mess during the last season, he sat and tried to reach out to El for 353 days when she left. He lost her for a whole year and never stopped trying to see if she was out there, just like for Will he never gave up.

It doesn't surprise me that Mike wanted to do all he can to protect El no matter what so he doesn't loose her again. However when Max starts accusing him of wanting to control her, basically saying he is trying to treat El like property it made my blood boil. We has the audience saw him fight for El and protect El, and never stop looking for El. Then getting this whole "women are a different species," narrative between him and Lucas. How the writers went about that was weird to me seemed a bit forced. For two guys we know fought along along side El and saw her has equal and feel for her, too oh women are a different species we can't understand them at all didn't make the much sense by how hard they where pushing it.

It kind of sucks to hear people hate Mike. Like if you do that's fine, its all good. I just feel like his character doesn't get a fair review at times. Will gets brought up a lot from what I seen. I agree that Mike was being insensitive and like I said before doesn't make sense to brush off Will like that after all they went through. People like to talk about the whole "Its not my fault you don't like girls." Side note I don't believe Will is gay. If you do go for it, I just see the situation a bit different. Will just came out of a very traumatic event and just wants to go back to normal just like the old times with his friends and the hurt he experiences with them all moving on and being not what he remembered. They where not what they used to be. With Mike he is growing up and moving on and in a fit of anger he tells Will its not his fault he doesn't like the relationships him and the others are forming. Like he saying its not his fault Will isn't growing up, and moving on. insensitive yes, but I can understand where both are coming from and dealing with different problems.

Mike isn't a prefect character, and he makes mistakes. I just felt like towards the beginning of the season till some of the end he wasn't treated the best writing wise.

Max

When I first met Max she was such a fun character I love them bringing her into the group. She is fiery and compassionate and I think she brings something new to the group of kids. I think she still does. In the third season I just had a lot of problems with her and her attitudes.

I have already explained her part in El and her relationship. I guess her attitudes towards Mike and Lucas I was upset about.

Lucas and Max didn't get lots of screen time to showcase there relationship more, but by the whole they break up every week detail and attitudes towards each other I don't think its that solely positive to be honest with the scenes we got.

Her attitudes towards Mike made me pissed off a bit. Yes, Mike should not have lied and Max is right to call it out, but to go to say he is controlling El and these other terrible things. To the audience we know that is not true seeing Mike goes to the ends of the Earth for El and Max knows how deeply her disappearance effected him. Mike stood in front of her and his friends from Max's abusive brother Billy. However in the third season she gets a whiff of him lying its like she has nothing to give him the benefit of the doubt on. When in fact she does. She reduces him to a controlling and lying boyfriend, and yes pushes that idea onto El and it just rubs me in the wrong way. I was very upset with Max and how the writers where treating some moments like something to praise. El dumping Mike was sad and upsetting I didn't find it very funny, but hey that's just me. She had El spy on people esxpecliy the boys and I feel she really doesn't get many consequences for it. However Mike is treated like a monster after getting threatened by Hooper and lying about it. He should not have lied of course, I just don't feel like they got equal treatment for their actions, and yes I know there kids they are stupid at times. I can still call out bad behavior and warning flags.

Billy Hargrove

Billy was wasted potential on the writers part. His character is a very known presence in the last two seasons. When you find out about his past and El reaching out to him, I feel like him sacrificing himself for the group and living could have been such a good example of character growth and getting better, and I feel like his story was cut to short for how much time and effort was put into his character. He was bad yes very bad, but with this latest season you got to see little sparks of his character come out more, his good sides. Billy Hargrove was wasted potential and I really hope they hold the dad accountable for his abuse in the next season, and also the mom. She was a victim yes, but she should not have left her son with to be emotionally and I believe physically damaged by his dad. His death should have consequences that all parties need to hear and see. If they really brush him under the rug I'll be pretty upset.

Alexi

I love his character and I just miss him is all.

That is just some of my thoughts on the third season I hear people say is one of the poorly written seasons of Stranger Things. Has much as I love the things in it. It has some writing issues and characterization where I would have to agree.

Welp those are just some of my thoughts. Love them or hate them its is what it is at the end of the day. I hope whoever is reading this has a nice day. Peace

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

S.T. REWRITE - S2:E7; Chapter Seven, The Lost Sister - [Pt. 2]

A Will Byers x Reader Series

In their search for answers, psychic visions draw Eleven and Y/n to a band of violent outcasts and an angry girl with a shadowy past.

||Reader's POV||

I hug my jacket tighter around my chest, my teeth chattering still from the cold air. Luckily the seats El and I picked ended up near the bus' heater. Though at least the chill is keeping me awake and alert. I remember drifting off on the futon at Becky's, the next thing I know El is shaking me awake and pulling me down the stairs. All I had time to grab was my jacket and slip on my shoes and we were out the door. Hell, I didn't even get to change out of my pajamas.

I tried asking her what happened and where the hell we were going, not to mention so late at night. She was much too spooked and truthfully I haven't seen her run that fast. Well, at least since last year. But no matter how much I tried to ask, she just kept silent, apart from a few words which I'm pretty sure were to shut me up.

"It's not safe."

So here we were, on a bus heading who knows where. I felt a pair of eyes on me and I looked cautiously to my side, several people were giving us strange even some sympathetic looks. I remember for what seems like the billionth time that I am in sweatpants and tee-shirt, and I hug my jacket tighter around my torso. I turned to look at El, and I can make out her disheartened reflection watching droplets of rain cascade down the foggy glass. I rest my head tiredly on the back of my seat and I attempt to break the silence.

"El?"

Her head rolls across the seat to face me, I can tell she is tired like me though I sense a great deal of it is emotional exhaustion as well as physical. A million questions run through my head but I only.find myself asking one.

"Are you okay?"

She sniffled but gave me no immediate answer. I could tell she was debating on whether or not she should lie. Finally, she speaks, her voice cracked and a little broken.

"No."

I wince, my a lump forming my throat feeling as if I am unable to help her. I extend my hand, as she did this afternoon, and she took it. I gave her palm a reassuring squeeze and I looked in her eyes.

"El, what happened? You can tell me," I reassure.

Her brown eyes fall to my hands, and I can tell she is trying to blink back tears.

"She called us in." She whispered, sniffling. "I'm sorry."

"Wait, what do you mean? Why are you sorry?" I ask gently.

"I heard her," she choked back. "She called for the policeman. And... And she gave them your name. I'm sorry Y/n."

"My name?" I gulped. "So, the police are gonna, know I'm...?"

She nodded, tearfully and I could see the remorse in her eyes.

Instinctively, I gave her hand another reassuring squeeze and forced a half-assed smile.

"It's okay, it's not entirely your fault El," I said. "Yeah, I'm not going to lie. That's not good, but I also knew what I was risking when I went with you. The truth is, things really haven't been going super well at home. Everyone's fighting - more than usual,"

El cracks a small smile at that, and I feel one spread across my face as well. But it quickly fades as I continue.

"Like I said before, Mike hasn't been himself since you left. And now Will is acting up, in fact, he's... completely different. He's sick, he's really sick and he's angrier than usual. The party is falling apart, and I've felt more alone these past few weeks than I have in a really long time. And on top of it all," I lower my voice even more. "I'm still finding stuff I didn't know I could do. I've been having trouble, controlling my powers."

El looked to me surprised, her eyebrows raised though I was relieved to see I had halted her crying. I nodded.

"The point is, you showing up has been just what I needed. And yes, it's really scary, but thanks to you I found out how I got here, where I came from. That's really good! I have you to thank for that."

We shared a weak smile, and there a beat of silence. I took a deep breath and she was the first to break the ice.

"I found her. The girl."

I perked up a bit, and I looked to El El hopefully.

"Really? That's great! So did you get a name? Maybe the girl's name or where we're going?"

The hope in El's face fell, and she shook her head. But her face scrunched up thoughtfully as if she was trying to remember something she might have missed.

"A city." She looked at me quizzically, and she spoke the next words and it was clear to me she must have been repeating a word she heard only in passing. "Shuh-cago?"

My eyes widened. "Chicago? We're going to Chicago?"

El shrugged her shoulders.

"Shuh-cago."

I took a deep breath, letting the information sink in as well as trying to tame the anxiety I knew was soon coming to settle in.

"Um, okay..." I sighed, my eyes falling to my lap and I noticed my leg has begun to bounce. "Well, are you sure? Is that what you heard, or maybe saw in the background somewhere?"

El nodded. I nodded as well, thinking about the road ahead.

"So you really think she'll help huh?" I ask.

She gives me a weak, but reassuring smile and soft squeezes my hand. "Yes."

I smile gratefully, but we fall into silence quickly after.

The familiar feeling bubbled up in my stomach again, though it is much more intense. Sure I had anxieties about leaving with El, but this succeeded that. At least I had the small chance of not getting caught, that I'd be back the next night and it could all be explained away by being at the Byers house. But this was quickly spiraling. This had already spiraled, and I was beginning to feel sick to my stomach with nerves. The moment the chief got her message than it was only a matter of time before my mom was notified, and oh no...

According to Dustin, she's going to the ends of the earth just to find Mews, I can't imagine the stress she'll inevitably be under when she finds out that some woman across town filed a report about me and it certainly doesn't help that I'm on a bus to Chicago.

I try to remind myself to take deep breaths, the last thing I need is my anxiety itself spiraling into something destructive. I still need to learn how to control my powers, though I'm a bit upset with myself for saying everything's okay when it's not.

I always had a problem with that. And yet, even though I meant what I had said to El about finding out where I came from, part of me is upset with myself for letting it go. Maybe I did it cause I felt bad for El, and she seemed sorry and she was in trouble. But then again, I was in trouble now too. Part of me is hoping Chicago is a dead end, and while I feel awful for feeling that way, I do. I find myself longing to be with Will again. The old Will. He always had a knack for knowing when I wasn't okay.

He always made me feel validated when I was upset, and he listened and then he'd do anything to get me to smile. But for now, I had to keep these thoughts to myself, for as long as I can at least though I don't know how long I'll last.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

I don't realize I have drifted off until I feel a tap on my shoulder. I blink away the sleep to the best of my ability and I find El gesturing towards the isle. Once again, I close my jacket tightly around my torso, the cold air reaching my neck and nipping at my ears. We had spilled out onto the busy streets among the several people leaving the bus with us. I looked around in an odd mix of awe and fear. Mom was never a city dweller, and the last big trip she took she came home with a daughter. So apart from programs on TV, this was the first I was seeing a big city.

El seemed to be experiencing it too, but my awe was quickly smothered when my eye level returned to the ground. We were lost in a sea of strange people, nobody seemed to know anyone and they all seemed angry.

I tried to remind myself of the things El told me earlier today.

"Y/n, we can defend ourselves, remember?"

She did have point, but then again if we were put in a situation where we were forced to use them, all the closer we going were to being caught. I look to El, to gauge her reaction and I find she's still very much lost in the towering city skyline and she a genuine smile on her face. For a moment I wish I can enjoy it as she does, but I am still in sweatpants and a tee shirt and I haven't the faintest idea when or if we'll find exactly where we're going.

Eagerly, she starts walking down the streets and I follow her. I'm thankful I was able to retrieve my shoes and jacket, but I still can't seem to drag my thoughts away from the fact that my teeth are chattering once more. The words I spoke earlier today pop into my mind only to mock me, "I guess I kept myself warm,". Another reason to learn how to control my powers, it sure wouldn't hurt-

I'm jolted from my thoughts when I feel a strong force struck my shoulder. I tumble back slightly, quickly catching my footing but my heart still spikes. I whirl around to see a large, glowering man sneer over his shoulder at me as retreats.

"Watch it, kid."

This time I fiddle with my jacket as an excuse to keep my hands busy, my heat creeping up in my chest as my tempter rises. I return my attention to El and our walk when I find her glaring at him. And if looks could kill - which hers quite easily could - he would be six feet under.

"Mouth-breather," She says menacingly, her eye line falls slightly and I panic.

I turn just in time to see the man stumble forward onto the concrete. Angrily, he sits up, looking around frantically and glaring at anyone who laughed at him. All worry washed away when I could barely make out the string of curses directed at his shoelaces as he hotly tied them.

El looked to me, suppressing a smile and she had a wildly mischievous look in her eye.

I felt myself crack a smile and my anger slowly melted away.

Okay, that was pretty funny.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

If I thought I was cold before, I was dead wrong. We've been walking for two hours, my feet are killing me and my sweatpants are clinging to my legs. About half an hour ago, a truck drove through a puddle and I caught the tail end of the splash when we hooked around a corner. To pass the time, I've been trying to dry them subtly with my hands against my legs, but it didn't get me very far, even with El's tips. I finally gave it a rest after a while, I wasn't getting very far and I didn't want to risk draining myself if the walk was much longer.

By now I've grown used to the odd and wandering looks we've gathered, especially me given my state. But the tension crept back in when El lead us down an incredibly questionable alley. We were definitely in the riskier parts of the city though I tried to hold my tongue and save questions until later. My instincts told me I needed to appear more confident than I was than I'd have at least a sliver less of a chance of being a target. El seemed to hold up that exterior, though even her confidence was waning slightly.

We were surrounded by many sluggish people, milling about one another and the alley was lit up by fire pits in steel barrels. The stench was horrid, it wreaked of booze, cigarettes, and urine. Subconsciously, El and I grew closer I realize cause I feel the ends of her hairbrush against me when I flinch back.

A frightening, cackling man had stepped towards my face as we walked by.

"They're dead. They're all dead!"

His hyena-like laughter bounces off the cement walls and echoes in my ears. I can practically taste his awful breath and I duck my head down avoiding eye contact as I pull El along forward with me.

I can sense her eagerness to leave the alley and hands still clenched tight, we broke out into a small jog and out of sight. We didn't stop until we reached what looked to be an abandoned underpass. Graffiti littered every wall, and we emerged from the darkened space to find an old warehouse. Like the underpass, there wasn't a wall that wasn't painted with spray paint and neon color and El stopped suddenly.

I glanced ahead of me at the building, the small door supplied with only one window that flickered with yellow light, and back at El, searching her eyes.

"El, is this it?" I ask.

"Yes."

She sets off towards the building and I quickly follow behind, attempting to prepare myself whatever we might find. Inside is not much different to the exterior, boxes, crates, barrels, and planks littered the interior and it was harder to find a surface that wasn't covered in graffiti. The entrance we stood in was part of a small alcove, and it was clear the further you stepped inside the ceiling extended. But what caught my eye were the four people huddled around another makeshift firepit.

One girl, who was perched on several cushions and lighting a cigarette began to giggle teasingly.

"You should do stand-up, Axe. There's a spot a few blocks away."

The group chuckled, and a tall lanky man with a large mohawk unlike anything I've seen before rolled his eyes with a smirk. Among them, a rather large and beefy man, who clearly seemed to be the muscle, and another young woman in cuffed jeans, gloves and a dark green flannel.

El called out to them and I panicked, though logically I knew we needed make ourselves known regardless.

"Hello?"

The group stopped and turned, their faces illuminated by the fire gifting to them a very chilling tone.

A sickening smirk curled along the tall lanky man, and he struts around the fire towards us.

"Well, well... What do we have here?"

The others rose from their spot and I looked anxiously between El and the others, though I somehow managed to keep a still face.

The others began stalking towards us and I could feel my heart rate pick up. The woman in the green jacket scoffed, looking us up and down and it seemed she couldn't tell which of us looked, stranger.

"What are those, overalls?" She asked finally.

The other young woman had stalked around us and she stopped at me. I tensed and she looked me up and down before jabbing a finger in my shoulder and nudging me roughly.

"And get a load of this one," she squeaked, blowing smoke into my face.

I coughed, swiping it away and they all laughed. She turned to me and faked a pout.

"What's the matter girlies? Thought your little slumber party could use a fun little adventure, in the big city, huh?"

The others chuckled softly, and I stifled an eye roll. Her mocking tone fell into a serious one shortly after.

"Well, you ain't gonna find it here, go on back to the farm now."

"We're looking for my sister."

My eyes flickered to El in surprise, but they quickly returned to the group. Once again, not wanting to give away too much but I do have to applaud El's quick thinking.

"Aw..." Cooed the man with mohawk mockingly. "Shirley Temple lost her sister. So sad."

"I saw her. Here."

She reached into her bag and pulls out the photograph from Becky's.

"Uh-uh," The large man said suddenly. "Hand out of your pocket. Slow."

El complied and the lanky man ripped the photograph from her hand.

"Give me that shit."

For the first time, he hesitated, shocked and caught off-guard and the woman in green stepped forward when she caught a glimpse. She ripped it from his grasp, just as he had done previously and gaped.

"Is that Kali?"

"Kali?" El asked.

Mohawk stepped forward, growing tense and took advantage of his height and towered over El, zeroing in on her. I tensed but I never left her side.

"How did you find us? Who else knows you're here?"

El backed up slightly and I spoke up urgently.

"No one knows we're here."

"And no one asked you, shithead." My face soured and he returned to El. "Is this true Shirley Temple? So, what then? Poof! You just show up like magic with that picture?"

"Stay calm." The woman in green warned. "They're just kids, alright?"

He turned on her quickly, snapping at her.

"Some kids that could get us all killed."

He returned his attention to El and pulled something from his pocket. My eyes fell to the object in his hand and I was as certain my eyes were wide as saucers as sure as I was that everyone could hear my heart thumping against my ribcage.

"If I have to ask again, Shirley, you'll start losing things." He unsheathed his knife and began pointing it at El's face. "Starting with those pretty little locks of yours. Yeah?"

I looked desperately between the man and his companions, each of them seemed uncomfortable with his actions in varying degrees. The woman in green stepped forward, extending her arm.

"Come on, Axe. Put down the knife." She warned.

The blade grew closer towards her face and he only grew angrier.

"How did you find us?"

"I saw her." She said, her voice came out rushed and shakey not that I blamed her.

He advanced further, the knife growing closer to her face and everyone's voices began to drown in the deafening roar of blood pumping in my ears. He was beside me now as El kept backing away.

"That's not an answer!" He roars.

"Axe!"

I throw aside my common sense and step towards them. Before anything can happen, he freezes and begins examining his hand frightfully. He steps backward, his blade-wielding arm extended as far away from his face and torso as possible and his breath becomes shaky as he speaks.

"Jesus. Jesus Christ!" He huffs.

He chucks the knife on the concrete behind us, the blade nearly nicking my legs. He looks up and down his torso, and his face goes pale. He frantically swipes at himself, several squeals of fear elicit from him and El and I share a confused look.

"Get off! Shit!"

He is running across the room, hunched over, and desperately swatting at his head, face and arms deranged. I have to step back to avoid his path as he maneuvers around me and his companions have to do the same.

"You're a terrible dancer, Axel."

Everyone including myself turns our heads towards the source of the British voice. On the stairs, leaning on the banister with a sly smirk was another young girl. Half of her head was shaved, the other half was tinted purple and like the others, she dressed in grunge, but oddly they didn't seem shabby or cheap.

The guy named Axel relaxed, only for a moment before it evolved into anger. He smacked his head angrily and gestured towards her as she came down the steps.

"I told you, Kali, stay out of my head." He spits.

"So we're threatening little girls now, are we?" She asks, striding towards us.

"They know about you." Axel defends.

The girl with the bow, the one mocked me, stepped forward with the photo El had and gestured to her.

"Farmgirl here had this."

The new girl, the one I can only assume to be the one we were looking for, grabbed the photo. She seemed to be hiding her shock, and El cautiously approaches her. She eyes El up and down suspiciously, her gaze flickering past her to me on occasion.

"Where did you get this?"

"Mama," El answers, taking the photograph back and placing it in her bag.

"Your mother gave this to you?"

"In her dream circle," El says.

I raise my brow, and as I suspect the others don't take to it, or her very easily.

"Dream circle," Axel scoffs, pacing the room. "I think she's a schizo or something."

I gape at him, unable to stop myself but he doesn't see me. I desperately want to say something but I know I have to be careful less I start something.

"Says she's looking for her sister."

"Yeah. Like I said, schizo."

I take a deep breath, clenching my fists. I'm reminded of the first night we met El. When we both overheard the boys saying those awful things about her. That she was from the nuthouse. It angers me that so many people out there are so quick to judge people they don't automatically understand. My glare follows him across the room and as he bends to pick up his knife. I smirk when I see the knife fly through the air and into El's waiting hand.

Mumbles of surprise bounce around the group, but I simply watch as El confidently folds the knife and hands it to the girl.

"I saw you. In the rainbow room."

Something in the girl's eye changes, she begins to stalk around El before she stops halfway to stand beside her.

"What is your name?"

"Jane."

I can't say I was expecting that, but yet I wait. I concentrate my energy on keeping my jaw clenched. I've been fighting my chattering teeth ever since we entered and the muscles in my jaw have grown weak. But in a weird way, I begin to forget it's there as I watch what is unfolding before me.

Kali grabs El's left wrist and pushes back her sleeve to reveal her tattoo. El reaches for Kali's left wrist and they compare before sharing a chilling look. El's eyes grow cloudy and I can her lips trembling.

"Sister." She whispers.

"Sister," Kali says.

The two embrace in a tearful hug I grow uncomfortable where I stand. I tuck my arms in further where they have been fused against my chest, and I shift on my feet my tempter growing short. I don't understand why I feel this way but I do. I want to be happy for El, but something feels off. Maybe I'm jealous because I thought me and El were close, she was the first real female friend I had and we both came from the same place. But I guess she found that with someone else. I never really was from there, not that I wish I was but at least I could someone to lean on with having powers.

And yet, that didn't seem to be what bothered me most. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I can't help but feel like things are only going to get more slippery.

Before I can dwell on it more, they break apart and Kali takes El's hands in her own giving them a squeeze before releasing. The two smile at one another and my eyes fall to my feet. The ends of my sweatpants are still soaked I can feel the water in my shoes. And yet the most chilling thing I felt at that moment was Kali's eyes on me.

"Jane, who is this?" She asks.

"Y/n. My friend."

I break my gaze away from my shoes and I give her a small wave, forcing a smile.

"Hi," I mumble, trembling.

She looks me up and down, her suspicious gaze creeping back up in her eyes. Her intimidation faltered when she allowed herself to register my odd outfit. The question seemed to have a bigger demand than her previous one, and she seems to dismiss a thought.

"Why are you in pajamas?"

"Long story," I mutter, my teeth chattering once more. "We had to up and leave unexpectedly and I didn't get a chance to change or grab any spare clothes."

Her brows furrowed suspiciously, and for a moment I worry. I can feel myself squirm under intimating gaze but then I feel a wave of relief when I see her crack a smile. She chuckles and looks to the tall woman in the green jacket.

"Funshine, take her upstairs and help her find some warm clothes. I'm gonna talk to Jane. Alone."

Her eyes fall on me, her amusement fizzled out into what I could have sworn looked like a warning glare as she spoke the last word. My eyes fall to El and she smiles happily at me, before looking excitedly to Kali unaware of the cold shoulder Kali was giving me. I tense, not wanting to be separated from El, but I try and comfort myself in the fact that Kali does seem to genuinely care for El. Though that was just as worrisome.

The larger man nodded, stepping forward and gestured to me. I looked to him surprised, my eyes flickering to Kali and she smiles.

"Don't worry, he's nothing but a big softie," Kali says, turning and leaving with El.

I look back at the man and he smiles warmly, I can feel myself relax and I even find myself smiling back at him.

"Don't worry, we'll get you some nice warm clothes."

Reluctantly, I follow. We walk side by side, falling in line behind El and Kali though they disappear around the corner and Funshine directs me to one of the makeshift bedrooms. My eyes fall to the fire pit in the corner and I eye it longingly. He gestures towards it and ushers me along.

"Go ahead, wait but the fire. I'll be right back with some warm clothes." He says, heading through the doorway.

I smile shyly, eagerly gravitating towards the fire.

"Thanks."

He left through the door and disappeared around the corner, and I stifled a smile. I could feel the heat washing over my body and I felt myself relax in the slightest. I only wish there was a faster way to dry my legs but before much longer, Funshine returns. He glides across the room with some clothes in his hands.

"Here, I gathered around stuff that I thought would fit you best." He tosses them on the bed next to me and begins to walk out. "I'll let you change."

Eagerly, I pick up the clothes and I watch him retreat. Out of the whole bunch, and my brief encounter with them, I trusted him the most and I couldn't hold my tongue any longer.

"Hey," I call out, growing nervous.

He stops suddenly, and turns around, giving me a curious look.

"Thank you," I mumble, smiling. "For the clothes."

Another friendly smile stretches across his face and once again he nods.

"You're certainly welcome."

+++

Tag List: @dickkwad​​​ @aimee-lucass​​​ @iblesstherainsdown-in-africa​​​   @miscellaneoustoasts​​​ @happyandlonely-blog​​​ @missmulti​​​ @youpi-chan​​​ @peeperparkour​​​ @ba-responds​​​ @bibliophilesquared​​​ @blogforhoes​​​ @witch-of-all-things-soft​​​ @shawni-h​​ @whothefuckstolemykeds​​ @mirdall @fandom-imagines-xxx​​ @daughter-of-pan12​​ @stranger-things4​

DM me if you want to be added!

[anxiousstark]

Sparks fly up | p r o l o g u e

MASTERLIST 

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader.

Summary:  003. She had always been replaced by the same person, Eleven. First, it was Papa who replaced her, then Jim Hopper. Maybe she was replaced because Eleven was younger and had to learn to manage her powers. Or maybe it was because 003 didn’t remember what she could do. Billy Hargrove seems to be the only person who wouldn’t replace her.

Disclaimer: I do not condone Billy’s actions or behaviour on the show nor do I intend to romanticize abuse.

Warning: Swearing, mentions of abuse.

A/N: Starts in season 2 and of course, there will be some scenes from Stranger Things. Flashbacks are in italic. BILLY WAS 17 IN SEASON 2 BUT HE IS GOING TO BE 18 HERE.

All Rights Reserved. The author, me, don’t allow any type of copy or adaption.

"Where has she gone?" Jim Hopper let the smoke out through his mouth and nose, not giving a fuck if the inside of the trailer was filled with that horrible smell of cigarettes. "I don't understand. Is it so difficult for her to listen and stay here?" He took off his hat by throwing it toward the nearest couch. "You have never done this! You have always followed the rules for your own safety!"

But I am not Eleven and Eleven is not me.

"She has something to look for." The girl got up from the couch grabbing Hopper's cap and moving it to the table, knowing the next day he would forget where it was left in his rage. "She has Mike and the others. I don't." Hopper's face showed softness for a couple of seconds. 

“Three, listen since Eleven came here we haven’t had time to t-”. He stopped talking when he heard a few footsteps, knowing that Eleven had returned home. Before either of them could do anything, the door opened, showing an Eleven who tried not to show that she was a little scared of Hopper's reaction.

El didn’t look at either of them and began to walk quickly to her room. That caused Hopper to yell, pissed off at how she had ignored him and disobeyed the rules he had imposed for the safety of the three.

“You put us in danger.” Hopper walked around the room, while Eleven followed him with her gaze and Three simply watched from the couch. “You realize that, right?”

Three could see how El's eyes filled with tears and she knew what was going to happen. She knew that facial expression herself. The little girl was going to explode. “You promised...” She pointed her finger at Hopper. “I go! And I never leave! Nothing ever happens!”

“Yeah! Nothing ever happens and you two stay safe!” He screamed back while punching one of the furniture inside the room. Three swallowed, feeling nervous about the situation.

“You lie!”

“I don’t lie! I protect and I feed and I teach!” He continued screaming while walking out of the room after whining about El not following the simple rules you all had agreed to a long time ago. Three rose again from the couch when Hopper began throwing things away and getting rid of the objects Eleven used most. "And not TV for a week.”

She followed him with her gaze and both of them noticed that he couldn’t grab the TV. Three looked at Eleven, seeing her nose starting to bleed. 

“Alright, knock it off. Let go.” This time his voice was softer but El shook her head, not wanting to be separated from the only thing that made her feel close to Mike. Hopper began to extend Eleven's punishment time while she continued without letting him take the TV. "Well, congratulations." He walked to the back of the TV. "You just graduated from no TV for a month to no TV at all.”

“Hopper...” Three whispered. But it was too late when Hopper broke the cables that were attached to the TV. 

Eleven became restless and started to shout all over again “No.”

She turned around to look at him. “You are like Papa!” That made Three wince at the thought of that horrible shit of a man.

Hopper began to get even more upset, explaining to Eleven that if she wanted she could go back to the lab, then he called her a brat, throwing the dictionary softly for her to catch. But Eleven made it levitate with her powers and then threw it. Hopper was able to avoid the blow with his hands.

“Hey!” He started walking towards her. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Eleven used her powers to move the couch and hit Hopper. Then, she threw a shelve to the floor.

"Ok, that's enough." Three decided to intervene before things got worse, but the youngest and oldest kept screaming and throwing stuff. "I said it is enough!"

"Don't get into this, Three!" He shouted, pointing his finger and looking at her quickly.

"Then stop!" She shouted back. "El needs to relax and she won't relax until you stop screaming!"

"Oh, so now you're defending her?" You could see the pain on his face. But Hopper was wrong. She didn’t try to defend Eleven because she knew that what she had done was wrong, but she didn’t believe that the problems would be solved in this way.

"No! If you stop screaming maybe you will understand what I mean!" She stopped looking at Hopper to look at the young girl. "You have to calm down. I understand you want to see Mike but you know those bad men will come looking for us again."

"Shut up! No! No! No!" Eleven was still upset.

Three looked at Hopper and he looked back. He knew she was asking him to stop screaming and that they could have that conversation when things were calmer and maybe reach an agreement where they would both be satisfied.

Hopper felt irritated when Three acted as if she were an adult. She was only 18 years old and shouldn’t have to act that way. "You don't understand it because you're probably not in danger since the lab doesn't need you anymore!" He Shouted. "Without powers, you are nothing to them or to anyone!"

Eleven dropped some books and chairs that she was holding in the air with her powers. Her gaze was fixed on Hopper but upon hearing those words she couldn’t help but look at Three.

When Hopper let her stay with him, Three was already there. She knew more things than her and spoke better than her. But she never saw what powers Three had and knew that this was a sensitive issue for her.

"Good job, Hopper." She whispered while looking at the floor. She grabbed one of the jackets that had hung on the coat rack and left the house, sitting in a rocking chair that was on the porch.

Hopper felt a great pain in his chest when he had uttered those words and wanted to leave the house to talk to her and apologize. For some reason, Eleven was more pissed off than before. "You hurt her!" She entered her room closing the door with her powers and while he kept shouting, Eleven cried loudly.

Three hugged herself due to the cold of the night and thought again and again about the words that Hopper had let out through his mouth.

"Why, Papa?" The younger Three asked with tears in her eyes looking at who she called Papa. And even though the other children also called him that, everyone knew that he had a special love for her or perhaps greater interest in her powers.

But now she wasn’t needed.

She had been exploited to show and use her powers so many times and in large amounts of energy that one day she fainted, waking up a week later and without powers.

She was useless for Papa but they wouldn't let her go so easily. They had tied her to a bed, putting something in her mouth and on her head, giving her electric shocks to the point where she forgot any clue she had about what her powers might be.

Papa's explanation to Jim Hopper about what they had done to her had been that her powers were too dangerous not to be supervised under the laboratory. And there would be a chance that if she ever remembered what her powers were, she could have them back. So they made her forget like how they made her forget who her true parents were.

So, Three was locked in a room for years without any visit from Papa because a younger girl with exceptional skills had been brought to the lab. Eleven. The girl who owned Papa's heart, which caused Three to feel jealous until she knew how evil Papa was.

And when she lost her powers, she began to rebel against them. Papa saw no reason why she should remain with them since she had no powers. Therefore, Three was again subjected to several electric shocks and then sent with abusive families until Jim Hopper decided to investigate the laboratory after the disappearance of Will Byers and decided to take care of her, welcoming her. Later, he welcomed Eleven.

TAG YOURSELF  

Tags:  @all-time-otaku  ☾  @jojo-buttercup ☾ @mydarlingharry ☾ @speedmetalqueen  ☾ @savagesuccubus  ☾ @ultramagicaltacofandom  ☾ @thoughtfulcollectorbearposts  ☾ @billlysbitch  ☾ @ashwarren32  ☾ @harrigroveheaven  ☾ @savvy7392  ☾ @sabrinas-dobrik   ☾ @trifoliumviridi  ☾ @upsidedownswift ​